


Checkmate

by NordicPrincess93



Series: Checkmate [1]
Category: Once Upon A Time - Fandom, Peter Pan - Fandom, dark!pan - Fandom, ouat, peter pan ouat
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Self Harm, family love, possible trigger warnings, robbie kay’s eyebrow thing, underage in some countries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:15:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 37,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21823540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NordicPrincess93/pseuds/NordicPrincess93
Summary: SERIOUS RE-WRITE IN PROGRESSWhat if Pan never needed the heart of the truest believer to remain in neverland? He may have ended in storybrooke for a completely different reason. What if Hook didn’t help Cora and Hook/Swan started in a different way? This is an AU of ABC’s once upon a time.
Relationships: Felix/OC, Gotta love a love triangle, Hook/Swan, Pan/OC, Peter Pan/OC
Series: Checkmate [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1593097
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> SERIOUS RE-WRITE IN PROGRESS  
> Hello to anyone that reads this, this was my first Pan AU, the story idea given to me by a friend. I'm re-writing this because even I am cringing looking back at my work and i'd like to not do that. i'm adding not only more detail, and chapters but I may even end up merging this one and it's sequel together (I haven't decided yet).
> 
> If you do find a plot hole or an issue that really bothers you, then just leave me a comment and i'll fix it as soon as I can, but obviously working hard to polish those out.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Checkmate

I remember dancing through the trees, leaping from boulders and low branches, swinging on vines with the leaves crunching under my feet. I ran to my papa, his arms raised me high over his head, his laughter echoing all around me.

Every time I dream I remember that memory, that place, being whisked away whilst my papa reached out for me, I remember his screams as he lay dying. A shadow dropped me on a doorstep and gave me a pointed stare before it flew away. It stared into my soul and I knew one day it would be back for me.

The morning of my sixteenth birthday I awoke from my dreams of the forest to find my mother opening my door with a beautiful cake. Mother never gave birth to me but took me in the moment she found me on her doorstep. Her husband, furious at the scandal, demanded she take me elsewhere, but she held me close and demanded I was hers, he left shortly after and never looked back.

Mother let me be me, and raised me with all the love in her heart. She delighted in all my passions, my fencing, archery, ballet, gymnastics, even my fighting lessons, she was always nearby, cheering me on. I always said that one day I would have to leave and she would always hold me close and whisper “I know, you were a gift to me but he will take you back one day”

I always knew she meant the shadow but I always pretended she meant my papa, coming to find me and take me back to my forest, to hold me once again high above his head as if I was flying. 

I went to school as usual with a smile on my face and a love for my mother in my heart and the day went by like any other. People would ignore me and call me the freak, the weirdo, the orphan. I took it in my stride because I always had my mother. If I could handle beatings from billy then I could handle empty insults.

That evening mother and I ate cake and watched movies and threw popcorn at the villains, I showed her something new I learned at ballet class and then bid her goodnight as usual. That evening she held me a little longer and squeezed extra hard.

“Mother is everything-?”

“Just know I love you, with all my heart okay?”

“I know, I love you too”

She kissed my forehead fiercely and tucked me into bed like she did when I was little, she locked the window tightly and drew the curtains. Leaving one last look before she closed the door I saw a single tear drip down her cheek. I never saw her again after that night.

As usual my dream came and I skipped and danced and ran through my forest, feeling its life force embrace me like a warm blanket. This time a cold wind spiked over my shoulders and a loud thud pulled me back into my room. 

Blinking at the sudden light engulfing my room from the street lights outside, I realised, that not only my curtains were open, but so was my window. The brisk winter air seeped in, bringing my curtains almost to life, but air wasn’t all that came in.

Suddenly before me, the shadowy figure gazed into my eyes and with a jerk that was almost a nod, it took my arm and led me to the window.

“Wait.” I gasped reaching for my belt and my shoes “I’m going prepared” I secured my dagger and my sword into my belt, these were presents from mother from birthdays past. Then I grabbed my bow and strapped my quiver of arrows to my back, more presents. Finally I grabbed my locket, a picture of me and mother inside, and shoved my second dagger into my boot. With a swift flap of my favourite jacket I was finally ready to go.

The shadow flew me over the rooftops of the city and up into the sky. With what felt like a shiver engulfing my body I realised i was looking at an island, the sun was rising slowly and it almost seemed to set the sea aflame. 

Boats and ships sat on a harbour to the left of the island and on the furthest reaches I could see mountains glistening with snow on their peaks. The sound of a cannon turned my attention to a ship underneath me, the shadow carrying me screamed and so did I as I plummeted towards the water below. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what are you doing reading this? go read the updated version


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when a sassy girl meets tired pirates?

Not long after I resurfaced a rope was thrown to me and voices called out.

“Come on laddie you can make it!”

“Just grab on tight, we’ll pull you in!”

I did as I was told and felt myself being pulled through the water, luckily my quiver still rattled with my arrows as I started to be pulled up wards onto the deck of the ship. Hands started to grab this way and that and patted me to get the water out of my lungs.

Coughing and spluttering I looked up to see a group of scraggly looking men with swords just like mine, I looked around and catching each of their eyes they started to notice that I wasn’t what I appeared to be. The whispers soon turned to voiced questions.

“A girl.”

“There’s never been a girl before”

“What do we do?” 

“He will come for her, if pan wants her he will come”

The ruckus had built up until boots could be heard clunking across the deck. The men fell silent as what could only be described as their captain came into view. He wore black leather just like my jacket but instead of a left hand this man had a hook. The new day’s sun reflected brightly off the carefully polished metal.

“Well well well, what do we have here lads?” The man smirked until his eyes caught mine, he was visibly taken aback by my appearance and I took this time to stand, check my weapons and shake off any residual water. “But you’re a girl” the man spluttered.

“Oh you noticed?” I sassily retorted, I wasn’t afraid of this man, I wasn’t afraid of anything. “I was hoping it wasn’t too obvious, it’s the hair isn’t it” I reached up and released my bun allowing my long black, and very wet hair to drop over my shoulders.

“You shouldn’t be here lass”

“Well I don’t think I had any choice in the matter, you shot down my ride” the pirate smirked at my retort.

“Look at that flag” he pointed up to the mast of his ship. “Do you know what that means?”

“Hmm now let me think, are you fairies?” I feigned sarcasm, wondering how much I could push these men, I wasn’t afraid of death, all I knew was that I was in the face of danger either from these men or that shadow. “Ooh ooh, I know, I got it, you’re archeologists, no? Scientists? No? Geographers?....”

“Oh come off it lass, we’re pirates!!”

“Well duh, I’m not an idiot! I just wanted to push your buttons”

“Push my buttons all you want lassie, just don’t be afraid when something happens” the pirate sneered and removed his sword, pointing it at me. But I was quick, I’d seen his intent and quickly pulled my own sword, matching the pirates stance.

“You wanna dance old man, come on then”

“Dance? Old man? I’m thirty se- oh bugger this I’m not fighting you lass, put the sword down” I lowered it slowly, sensing defeat in the pirate but not because of me. “Welcome to the Jolly Roger.”

“Just like that?” I eyed the pirate, he was exhausted, physically, mentally, they all were, the whole crew were dead on their feet.

“Aye just like that lass. Why don’t you tell me your name?” I sheathed my sword and released my stance.

“You first”

“Ladies first”

“Age before beauty”

“Alright, fine” he stretched out his good hand and I took it with mine “captain Killian Jones, but you can call me Hook, everyone else does”

“I can see why” I gestured, releasing his hand. My name is Bethany, my mother calls me Beth but my father called me-“

“Annie?” A man pushed through the crowd to study me. His face was the same, unchanged, his clothes dirty and his eyes tired but he was the same.

“Papa? Is it really you?!” He opened out his arms and I went bounding towards him, inhaling his scent as I had done so many times in my dreams. “Papa you were dying! I was taken away and then it came back for me”

“Pan’s shadow, I’m so sorry my love it happened so fast, you’re here now but you have to leave”

“You know she can’t leave” interceded hook “she’s trapped here like the rest of us Mate.”

My papa’s eyes filled with tears as they bore into mine, his hands stroking my slowly drying locks. I smiled as deeply as I could but his face showed no happiness, he collapsed to his knees as tears streamed.

“Papa!” I dropped to my knees to caress his face. “Papa are you ill?”

“No my little one, look at you, just like your mother, gone is my little Annie, yet here she stands, sixteen years of age”

“Papa, how do you know my age?”

“Oh my dear” he sobbed. “I’m a terrible father”

“You did what was right Ben, we would have all done the same” came hook, resting his hand on my father’s shoulder. The crew murmured in agreement “you wanted to keep her safe, we all did”

“I didn’t keep her safe from him”

“Papa, tell me the truth, I can take it” he kept his eyes away from mine, hanging his head.

“He sold you to me” came a voice from behind the crew, they parted to reveal a boy about my age dressed all in green with his hands crossed over his chest. The crew drew their swords and the boy raised his hands “easy lads, I’m unarmed, I just came for what’s mine” his eyes bore into mine and my father meekly stood in front of me.

“I didn’t sell her to you, I asked your shadow to take her somewhere safe” 

“Oh yes but that was a deal you see, you broke your deal by surviving and I promised that the day she turn sixteen I would take her back” the boys eyes seemed to darken at the thought of owning me.

“I thought I was going to die, your shadow promised she would be safe”

“But you survived, breaking our deal, I was promised death in return for her safety.”

“But I was-“ with a wave of his hand the boy threw my father into the air and back down onto the rest of the crew. Suddenly he and I were face to face as I pushed his back to the mast, my dagger on his throat.

“Oh this one has fire” he shouted triumphantly to the crew behind me, his eyes turned back to mine, his pupils dilated and his green irises seemed to crackle with energy “I like fire” his eyebrow raised and his face grew dark.

“Pan” interjected Hook. “She just reunited with her father, let her have a few days with him first”

“Oh come now Hook, she’s been mine since she was a child, I want her back, especially now, look at what she has become” 

His eyes never left mine and I pushed my dagger more forcefully into his neck, drawing blood. For some reason I could suddenly smell the wind of a swift summer breeze, the dirt after rain and something else I couldn’t put my finger on. I realised as he laughed at the pressure of my dagger and the squeeze of my nails in his wrist, pushing his hand above his head that the smell was him. 

“And what have I become?” I growled, throwing all my hatred of this being I barely knew into my words.

“Why little Annie, don’t you know,?” He moved towards the push of my dagger and whispered into my ear, his breath winding around my lobes. “You’re my lost girl” he put his head back into the mast and grinned as a bead of blood trickled down my dagger. 

I suddenly realised that he was under my grasp of his own will, he wanted this. I pulled back, sheathing my dagger and slowly backing towards my father. The boy lowered his hand and studied the nail marks on his wrist almost impressed with my work. I watched in horror as with a wave of his hand the cut I had made to his throat vanished but he kept the nail marks

“Something to tell the boys, don’t you think Hook, they’re going to like her.” His eyes once again flickered to me “I know I will have lots of fun”

“You leave my daughter alone” grunted my father. The boy simply waved his hand again and I saw my papa freeze up, unable to move.

“Now I see where you get your spark from little Annie, now come on” he held out his hand, my nail marks red on his wrist. I stepped back which caused the boy to lower his hand and raise his eyebrow again. “You don’t want me to loose my patience do you? I could burn everyone on this ship including your dear papa and take you by force”

“Three days” the boy looked confused at my statement. “Give me three days with my papa”

“One”

“Three”

“No little annie the point of a bargain is to adjust your offer.”

“Listen to him girl” whispered hook in my ear. “He may look like a boy but he is a demon in disguise, be careful what you say”

“I already told you captain, I’m not afraid of anything, not even demons.” I looked at my papa, still frozen by magic, I looked at the crew, frozen by fear. I looked at the captain looking at me then I looked at the demon boy. “Give me two days, I will come with you willingly and be a lost girl with one condition.”

“You don’t condition me girl” his anger flared but my composure didn’t change.

“I get to visit this ship and my father once a week. In return I will let you do whatever you want.” The boy’s brow raised again, he seemed interested. I felt like I was making a deal with the devil. “I have been beaten and bruised to within an inch of my life, I have suffered broken bones, drowning, I have even been stabbed so whatever you think you can do to scare me, please be aware that I do not scare easily, but I can act scared, put on a good show, but if you refuse me my visits then I will refuse you.” 

There was a long pause as the demon boy thought it over but suddenly his hand shot out.

“You have yourself a deal, lost girl” I took his hand, cringing at the feel it around mine. Suddenly he vanished, my hand still in the same place, now empty. My father shot forward to where the boy had been.

“I’ll destroy you Pan!” But instead my father found only air where the boy had been only moments before. He turned and acknowledged me, my hand now lowered and resting on the hilt of my sword.

“Nicely done lass” congratulated hook “ we will make a pirate of you yet, now, drinks are in order I think, strong ones!!” The crew cheered and congratulated me with claps on the back and remarks of “well done” and “I’d be proud if you were my daughter”


	3. Chapter 3

A few hours after the incident with Pan, my father and I were sat in the captains cabin, I had just finished the story of my life including what he missed when pan froze him.

“Looks like you became a pirate after all my dear”

“Just like you papa, mother promised that she would let me be just like you” he smiled and held me tight before standing suddenly and declaring “let’s see what you can do” I saw the glint of excitement in his eyes and couldn’t turn him down.

I spent the rest of the day sparring with the pirates, shooting apples off heads and even showing them my gymnastics skills with a rope. The captain found it hilarious and felt the need after a few swigs of rum to challenge me. I floored the pirate in a few moves and even pretended to celebrate a victory but something flashed in the captains eyes. He got back up and challenged me for real, I resorted to a few cheeky tactics using rope and my skills of balance but the pirate just refused to admit defeat. 

“Pan wont be this easy Annie”

“You think this is easy?!” I retorted matching his blade move for move. 

By the time the sun went down we were all exhausted, some stayed to drink up on deck but the captain was kind enough to let me share his quarters with my father. I was completely drained and found myself dropping straight off to sleep.

My dream for the first time in nine years consisted not of me and my father but of me walking through the same woods towards a different figure. He held out his hand for mine, I refused but found my hand in his anyway, he kissed my fingers and pulled me into his arms and we shot together into the air.

“Let me go”

“But princess, you will fall if I do”

“I’d rather fall and die than be touched by you!”

“Okay” and with that I fell. Screaming I awoke with my father and hook standing over me, concern etched on their faces.

“How long are you gunna stand over me like that? Its creepy”

“You were screaming” gestured Hook, his name sake with a cork on the end of it was the most adorable thing I had ever seen and I laughed. “You’re delirious, better get back to sleep lass” 

“Come on poppet” nudged papa, laying me back down into the silken sheets. I closed my eyes and when I opened them again I could see the dawn coming over the horizon through the window. I shot out of bed dressed in the new clothes I had been given as quickly as possible, I felt naked without my weapons so I attached them too, and bolted out onto the deck to watch the sunrise. The crew were still asleep below and the deck was empty behind me save for one person, but I didn’t see who until it was too late.

The sun rose and I watched it grow, my heart soaring with it.

“It’s almost as beautiful as you my lost girl” came the whisper in my ear. I spun around but it was too late, the demon was gone again and nowhere to be found. I waited for my heart to slow, I would not allow him to see me falter, no matter what, I refused to show weakness in the eyes of pan.

The rest of the day I spent with my father, learning about the island and the demon boy that controls it. There was talk of battles and death, happiness and sadness. We talked and ate and drank until the sun went down. I watched it go, mourning its descent. It was my last night aboard this ship, the last night with my father and the last night with the crew I knew almost like family. I knew what awaited me on that island, but I would not let it control me.

That night instead of sleep I crept out of bed and dressed silently, kissed my father and bid him a silent goodbye, I hated goodbyes and was determined to go to my fate on my own terms.

As I crept onto the deck I was accosted by Hook, he had been expecting me and refused to let me go without a fight. So we fought and I used everything I could, finally I dodged him by dropping down into the splits and pulling his leg, before he could acknowledge what had happened I was stood over him with my sword at his chest.

“Well lass, I dare say you may be ready.” A slow clap emanated from in front of us. Pan was amused by the show, I helped hook up and sheathed my sword.

“Oh no no princess I didn’t say you could put it away” I let out a gasp

“What did you just call me?”

“I’m allowed to call you whatever I like, Princess” he sauntered towards me, patiently emphasising every step. Finally he came close enough for me to hear his whisper “have a nice fall the other night?” Shocked I smacked him straight in his smug little face.

“I hate you” I growled.

“Why? I’m lovely” smirked pan looking me once again in the eyes. I wanted to hit him again and again and again until he wouldn’t be able to smirk anymore, but I stayed my hand, only able to glare into those green eyes. Once he saw I wasn’t going to do anything he sighed. “Well, this has been fun. Hope to see you again captain.”

“You’d be the only one” pan laughed at hooks snarled comment. 

“Ready princess?” Pan cockily put his arm around my waist. “Try not to fall this time” I decided against wrapping my arms around him and instead grabbed his shirt. I felt pathetic in his arms, weak, but before I could protest he shot up into the air and my head buried into his shoulder afraid of being dropped again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here be swears, watch your step

We landed and I paused, studying the foliage in front of me, sure enough, as soon as I saw where we were, I ran. I danced between the trees, over the rocks, and through the puddles feeling the wind caress my face and whip my hair behind me. As I ran the sun made its way into the sky. I enjoyed the freedom of finally being back in my forest, until I ran smack into a chest that wasn’t there a second ago. He grabbed my hand before I fell and squeezed hard pulling me back up to his face.

“You can’t run from me Princess”

“I think you’ll find I ran into you not away, besides I wasn’t running away.” I snatched my hand from his and spun around admiring my view. “You’ve seen my dreams pan, I ran though these trees every night and to do it in person was......” I couldn’t find the words I just let my smile do the talking but pan wasn’t impressed by my act.

“I didn’t tell you that you could run” he was angry, thinking I had run from him. “You ran the second we touched down”

“I’ve been watching this island for two days but wanting to be a part of this. Look at it pan, feel it, the air, the forest breathes. Can’t you feel it?”

“Of course I can, this is my island, what I’m confused by is how you can feel it”

“I’ve been running on this island every night since I was five years old. Some nights I would just stand, right here, and just feel.” 

“You’re telling the truth”

“You seem surprised by that, I tell the truth quite often but no one ever seems to believe me” pan shrugged off my comment and as if someone had switched on a light an idea formed, I could see the excitement in his eyes.

“You want to run, okay, run, but if I catch you I get a prize. It’s a game.” I paused for a second.

“What if you don’t catch me?” 

“What a stupid question, of course I will catch you. You’re just a girl, you don’t know this island as well as you would think”

“Did you say ‘just a girl’ to me?” Pan shrugged again. “Oh I’m not just a girl pan, I’m a lost girl” I winked and before he could react I ran.

I knew exactly where I was and where I was going as if the island wanted me to win, suddenly I reached where I wanted to be and as if by magic, the camp hook had informed me of was there before my eyes. I was met by twenty pairs of eyes including some so dark I could swear they too were eyes of a demon.

“Oh, um, hi” peter’s crow accompanied my entrance and he landed beside me.

“Boys, this is Bethany, our new lost girl. She isn’t like Wendy, she isn’t here to patch you up and cook your meals so don’t even try it. Now, what’s for breakfast?” The lost boys cheered and whooped, happy for a new play mate and for the promise of breakfast.

Moments later the camp was filled with the sounds of chewing, slurping and belching from all the boys, I felt sick to my stomach, I should be having breakfast with my father, laughing over smee’s incessant babbling that quite frankly I would rather over this ruckus.

I turned and sat on a boulder overlooking the scene away from the noises, I didn’t notice I wasn’t alone until he spoke.

“Eat.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“That wasn’t a suggestion.”

“ I know” I sighed. Today after school would have been an archery day, Terry was going to show us how to play snakes and ladders with our arrows. “I really wish to be left alone so that I can process the situation I have found myself in. I do not wish to eat or converse until such a time that I have overcome my feelings”

I turned to look at pan and a fierce rage flooded his face, the food he had for me went flying into the tree opposite and the hand that threw it suddenly grabbed my ear and dragged me back to the camp. I kicked and screamed bloody murder the whole way knowing that no one would help me, like I promised I put on a show for the boys.

“I caught our little princess trying to escape our warm embrace, what do we think of that boys” boos erupted from the group. “ we extend our hospitality and make her one of us and what do we get in return?” More boos. Pan pulled my face to look at his. “betrayal” he spat into my face.

The boys kept suggesting ways of punishing me and pan listened intently.

“Lock her in a cage” 

“Starve her”

“Beat her”

“Dog pile her”

“Give her to the mermaids”

Peter raised his hand and the voices stopped. “You know what boys, why don’t we let our little princess choose her punishment.”

He released my ear and I thought hard about what I knew I could handle. Suddenly I knew.

“Why peter” I gasped feigning innocence. “I do recall you never caught me, and you never said what my prize would be. So why don’t we all just forget about this and go do what lost boys do best” peter frowned, furious he had been duped, I batted my eyelashes in a playful way and he seemed to understand the game I was playing.

“She’s right boys, lets do what lost boys do best!! Last one to the waterfall catches dinner” and so we ran. The demon boy choose the careful option of running alongside me, but I was fast, some of the boys couldn’t keep up, I didn’t know where I was going all I knew was that I was running and laughing, my hair flying out behind me like a wild black cape. Pan laughed too, finally realising that I actually enjoyed the feel of running, not to run away from him but just to run.

We reached the water fall first and removing our weapons and shoes we jumped in, slowly boys started to join us until we were all splashing each other. Something snaked its way around my leg and dragged me under, weaponless I turned to find the dark eyed tall blonde with his hand around my ankle. I kicked him with my other leg only to result in that being grabbed too, the boy smirked thinking he had beat me but he didn’t know I could play games too. 

I bent my knees and keeping contact with him the entire time I gently prised his fingers from my ankles. He complied and I pulled his hands around my waist, I knew he wouldn’t let me up for air but my time was running out, I grabbed his hair and with as much force as I could muster underwater I pulled is lips onto mine, he was shocked but classic teenage boy reacted perfectly. I deepened the kiss and finally feeling my toes connect with a rock I bit the boys lips as hard as I could sending blood floating to the surface, I pushed off the rock and finally reaching air I swam to the surface and stood on the dry ground as close to pan as I could. The whole ordeal was about 20 seconds but it felt like forever.

The boy splashed up to the surface and came straight for me.

“Why you little-“ he grabbed me by the scruff of my shirt and pulled me up so my feet were barely touching the ground. His lip was bright red where my teeth had made contact. “You fucking bit me”

“You tried to drown me!! What was I supposed to do?!” He threw me to the ground and turned to his leader.

“She fucking bit me, punish her.” Pan was unfazed.

“I saw the whole thing felix, you tried to drown her, why?” 

“What? Don’t turn this on me! She shouldn’t even be here. Girls don’t belong here.”

“Felix” pan growled, eyes turning dark. It took me a second to notice that the sky too had gone slightly darker to match Pan’s mood. “Are you undermining my decision to make her a lost girl?”

“She is dangerous”

“I’m much worse” pan shifted his gaze to me and his eyes flitted to my ankles. I looked myself and saw the marks left there and I myself got a little angrier.

“Is your pride more hurt by the fact that I beat you or the fact that you kissed me back?” 

I glared at felix and he glared back, I had made a powerful enemy this day but I didn’t care. I flicked my hair and prepared to walk away, pausing one last time to look at the boys in the water and flippantly excuse myself. 

“Now if you’ll excuse me gentlemen I am going back to camp, if anyone wishes to accompany me I won’t object.” I turned back to felix “oh and felix, you know what if it wasn’t for the fact you were trying to kill me I would say that was a rather enjoyable kiss. Good day” with a hair flip and a wiggle I grabbed my belt, boots and jacket before anyone could retort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what are you doing reading this? go and read the updated version


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mention of self harm and trigger warnings.

Back at camp my hair had dried and I was dry enough to put my boots and belt back on. The boys slowly found their way back and came in twos and threes, no one looked or spoke a word to me. They just all went about their business as if I wasn’t there. A few minutes after the one called nibs dropped to a log and poured water out of his boot, Pan stormed in and grabbed my arm, pulling me out of camp and up the stairs to a little treehouse. He threw me onto a rather dusty bed and glared at me.

“Everything in neverland is mine, including you. You are never to touch or kiss anyone else without my permission.”

“What if they kiss me?”

“They will die”

“By your hand?”

“Maybe, I may just feed him to the mermaids or the crocodiles.” I felt myself pale at the thought

“What about me?”

“I’ll kill you myself”

“I’m not afraid of death”

“Your father is” this riled me and once again we were in the same position we were in a few days ago, his back against the wall, my dagger to his throat only this time my other hand held my other dagger, the two were criss crossed against him but he didn’t care, I knew he didn’t care and he wasn’t afraid, he would heal in seconds. A low chuckle rumbled against my weapons and suddenly they flew across opposite sides of the room.

His hands flew to my throat and pushed me to the ground, he was on top of me now taking all my air. I was loosing consciousness, he was killing me, with all my strength I punched the area of pan that always leaves other guys gasping for air. He and his hands flew off me as he doubled over in pain. I gasped for air, coughing in the dusty room. I reached for the glinting of my one of my daggers from under the bed but felt my hair pulled back. He was once again on top of me but I was belly down on the floor, the worst defence position. His cheeks pressed against my ear as his lips grazed my neck, my hair still in his hands I was completely incapacitated.

“Oh little princess you will pay for that” his lips once again grazed my neck sending goosebumps down my spine.

“Get off me, Pan!”

“No” and with that he bit my neck just above my collarbone. I screamed with all the air I had left in my lungs and felt the trickle of blood run down into my shirt. He released his teeth and watched the blood fall. “I’d love to lick that up princess but I have other things to do. This is your room now, clean it up, don’t leave, you are confined here until I say so” and with that he disappeared.

I had shown weakness. He got under my skin, it was like he knew exactly how to hurt me, my papa, my dearest papa was the price I would pay if I defied pan. I caught sight of my neck in a mirror across the room, I watched in horror as a black bruise developed underneath the marks of that demon’s teeth. It would scar, no doubt about it. My rage grew, if that boy thought a scar in the shape of his teeth meant he owned me then he was wrong.

The next few days I spent doing as I was told, I cleaned the room, sharpened my arrows and went to bed. The food had a tendency to just appear but I was grateful if it meant nobody saw me, or my neck. After the sun rose on the fifth day I had had enough of sweating in my long sleeves and had rolled them up to scrub the floor. 

Suddenly my arm was was yanked backwards and me with it. Pan was studying the scars up my arm, they were perfectly lined and perfectly healed, White with a slightly raised bump. He looked at me and I used my other arm to slide my sleeve slowly back down, his eyes flickered back to my wrist and caught sight of my other one, he grabbed that too. 

He held my hands up and glared at them, he seemed confused by them.

“What kind of creature made these?” I couldn’t look him in the eye and paused before answering.

“A monster” he dropped my arms slowly and tried to catch my eye. I lowered my sleeves and turned to stare out the window, my back to him. “A monster put me into a pit of darkness and sliced my arms, I couldn’t tell the different between reality and dreams, I wanted the dreams to be real. So every day the monster made a line to show me the pain of reality.”

“How did you escape?”

“I don’t think I ever did, but the marks stopped. I accepted that I couldn’t live in my dreams and tried harder at reality. The monster is always with me”

“I don’t see any monsters” whispered pan. He was closer to me now, his breath tickling the hair by my ear. 

“If I was feeling cocky I’d tell you to look in the mirror but I’m just not in the mood” pan paused as if thinking about my response, I felt his hand snaking through my hair, moving it back to reveal the side of my neck he hadn’t ruined. “Please May I leave?”

“What?!” It was a whisper so deep it was almost a growl. His grip on my hair tightened with the slight pull of his hand.

“I want to fire some arrows, have a wash, have a run.” I turned and he let me, releasing my hair but keeping his face close. Despite the height difference we were nose to nose, his head angled down slightly. 

“Please peter” i gasped, hoping it would appeal so a side of him that wasn’t constantly angry. Something darkened in those green eyes and I thought he was either going to kill me or kiss me. Surprisingly the darkness vanished with a long blink of his eyes and he nodded.

“Fine” he opened his eyes, they glared into my soul “but if you do anything to anger me, I won’t hesitate to destroy your dear papa” his hand tucked a stray hair behind my ear and his eyes lingered on my neck, the mark of his bite still there. He smirked his annoying smirk and vanished.


	6. Chapter 6

A few hours after Pan released me I had gone for a trek, I didn’t want to fire any arrows too close to camp. Little did I know I had been followed. I made sure to fire at a height where I could retrieve my arrows and kept going until my quiver was empty. I collected them and filled it over and over again until a twig alerted my attention to the right of me and my arrow fired that way without hesitation, a figure emerged holding my arrow wwearing a smirk almost as annoying as pan’s.

“Careful lost girl” goaded felix. “You could have taken my eye out”

“It would have been an improvement” I shrugged. His smirked vanished and mine grew, this one was going to be easy to bug. “Can I help you tall one?” He threw my arrow and it stuck into the ground right near my foot. “Oh dear felix you need to work on your aim, you missed” i feigned surpise and bent to pluck my arrow from the ground. As I stood my view was blocked my a chest, I looked up and feeling no fear I decided to take it further. “How’s the weather up there?” My giggle was silenced when I felt myself being pushed against a tree, his hands were crushing my shoulders, fingers curled around to dig into neck.

“Don’t test me lost girl” 

“Or what, going to try to kill me again?” I looked pointedly at his lip “remember what happened last time?” He growled and pushed forward, slamming his lips into mine with a hunger I had never felt before. Remembering Pan’s warning I tried to pull away but I was stuck. Suddenly a pain shot through my bottom lip as the boy returned the favour. My eyes widened in shock as I realised the boy had just sealed his fate.

“Now we are even” he remarked almost gleefully.

“Felix, what have you done? I’ve only just got out of that room you idiot, do you have any idea how pan is going to react?!” A flicker of fear flashed across the boys face as he reached forward and swept my hair off my neck.

“He claimed you” his face was full of horror.

“Claimed me?”

“Here on neverland if we have claimed something we leave our mark. A scratch, a drawing, a bite” his eyes captured mine.

“Oh, so does that mean i belong to-“

“-to me, yes” came the voice behind felix, he whipped around to face his leader.

“Pan I didn’t know, I back down, she is yours, all yours.” Pan glared at the boy, but slowly his face softened.

“I understand felix but Annie and I made a little pact, she wasn’t to kiss or touch another without my permission.”

“I didn’t kiss him back, he bit me” pan raised his hand to silence my outburst. 

“Seeing as you’re my dearest friend I’ll forgive you but you’re on scout duty for the rest of the week”

Felix nodded and ran out of the clearing without looking back. My lip was throbbing and I could tase metal.

“I was firing arrows and he just...”

“I saw”

“And you let him? It really hurt!!”

“I didn’t know his intentions but he didn’t know mine either” I sighed and collected my arrows, putting them back into my quiver. Suddenly a sting threw me to the floor, I grabbed my check and could feel the burning. Suddenly pan was on top of me once again, holding my wrists above my head. “You are mine, you know, or do I have to remind you?” His eyes flickered to my marked neck and I shook my head.

He got up and stormed off leaving me with my bruised pride and my soon to be bruised face. I followed after a few minutes and returned to my room, throwing myself onto the bed I threw my head into the pillow and sobbed.


	7. Chapter 7

Everything hurt and the next morning it hurt even more. I went to collect firewood, taking my time to flinch at every noise behind me, Neverland was breaking my resolve. “Keep it together girl” I told myself. “Don’t show weakness”.

The crack of a twig alerted my attention to my left and saw the glistening eyes of Pan in the bushes, I took in some air to speak but was stopped by his hand on my mouth, his forehead on mine.

“Shh” he hissed almost silently. He took my hand and led me into the trees, my bundle of firewood abandoned. We wound around the bushes and the branches going deeper and deeper into the forest. Soon I could hear the trickle of flowing water, we neared a waterfall as magical as the island it was part of. Almost silent the barrier of water crashed down leaving a curtain over a small cave. The glimmer in Pan’s eyes told me it was a game and so I followed, not wanting to anger him.

Sure enough inside the cave was like a water park, a giant slide swooped it’s way around the cave and the water snakes down inside it. Soon I could hear the sound of the lost boys outside but pan closed the mouth of the cave using magic. “Come on princess”he smirked, taking my hand. 

“Not a princess” I smirked back.

We rushed up the hand carved steps and upon reaching the top pan pulled me in front of him, holding me at the waist. The water rushed in between my feet and over my toes, I giggled at the feel of it and felt Pan chuckle behind me. A small square of fabric appeared and Pan jostled me to get onto it. His hands and legs wrapped around mine gently and held me close. “Ready princess?”

“Don’t let me go?”

“Not for anything” and off we sped. Around and around we almost flew down the slide and landed wish a splash in the pool of water below, it was shallow enough for me to touch the bottom but only slightly. Both of us came up for air at the same time and pan swam over to me. He lifted me in the water ever so slightly and my hands went automatically around his neck, holding on. One of his hands came up and stroked the cheek that he had struck only a day before. Using his magic I felt it vanish with a tingle.

“Um, thank you”

“My pleasure lost girl” I stared into his eyes for what felt like forever. He was calmer and sweeter, like a different guy in Pan’s body. It wasn’t to last and suddenly his smile faded to a scowl and he pushed me back.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong” he smirked at me “everything is just fine” with a wave of his hand we were back at camp, lost boys approaching from every side. “Looks like we have a new visitor boys, let’s give them a warm neverland welcome!” His smile was one of complete hatred. Whoever it was, was in for a nasty surprise.


	8. Chapter 8

Now dry after Pan’s crazy slide I went over to the cage on the outskirts of our camp. Inside was a small snivelling boy, young and dressed in rags. He was shivering despite the jungle climate and his arms were nothing but bone and skin. I had seen boys like him only once before.

Mother had taken her time and money to invest in a library storytime. She would read to the kids that attended whilst they munched on a piece of fruit of their choosing. One day a group of boys hobbled in, starving, skinny, dirty boys. Much like the lost boys in many ways but the lost boys had pan, these boys had no one.

They all came in and started helping themselves to the fruit, one boy right at the back couldn’t get past the group of bigger boys and so cowered in the corner. Me being me I strode straight past them, apple in my hand and gave it to the boy. He thanked me many times over and left with the others.

Mother made a note of where they went and made sure that she got them a roof over their heads and a meal, sure enough a few weeks later they were all thriving and came to story time well fed and clothed.

This boy wasn’t one of those boys but he had the same look of desperation on his face. “Weak” spat pan materialising next to me “I hate weak boys”

“Give him time Pan, I’m sure he has potential there somewhere”

“Where?” I shrugged

“I dunno, somewhere. Let me talk to him?”

“Whatever” shrugged pan dropping the cage. I stopped the rope before the cage hit the floor and tied the boy at eye level.

“Hello” I smiled as warmly as possible “do you know where you are?” He shook his head. “Have you ever heard the story of Peter Pan and his lost boys?” The boy shook his head again. Using all my courage I began the story, little did I know that pan and the lost boys were listening too.

“Once upon a time there was a boy, he had dreams of an island where he would never have to grow up and do grown up things. One day the boy ran away and found the island he had seen so often in his dreams he called it neverland.”

“Pretty soon the boy realised he needed some friends on his island so rescued the boys that had no homes and no parents, they became the lost boys” the lost boys behind me gave a cheer at the mention of them and I smiled. The boy in the cage smiled too.

“The boy chose a name for himself, he became Peter Pan, leader of the lost boys and ruler of neverland. Every day was full of magic, games and fun but soon a dark force appeared in the form of pirates” the boy’s eyes widened in shock as the lost boys booed and hissed at the mention of the pirates, I heard pan chuckle.

“Pan decided that the best thing to do to help his boys defend themselves was to teach them how to fight, soon all of them became experts at sword fighting, archery and pirate killing. The boys were so good that soon more and more boys came to the island, they had heard tales of Peter Pan and his lost boys. Soon they became lost boys too, so that’s the story, now I ask you-“ I looked the boy in the eyes “-do you want to join pan and his boys?” The boy looked confused.

“But-“ he started in a small voice “wasn’t that just a story?”

“Just a story yes, but all stories are based on truth” I winked and I saw the boy grin through the bars. A quiet chants started behind me “join us, join us” The boys got louder and louder.

“Well?” I asked over the din. The boy grinned and nodded and with his magic Pan opened the cage. I caught sight of pan playing his pipes and smiled to myself as the boys danced around me. 

Quietly I slipped away and made my way to the docks. The sun was high in the sky but no one was willing to barter with me for passage across the sea “pan’s girl” murmured around me and I gave up my attempts. I sat on the edge of the dock, feet swinging with my head hung low and watched the Jolly Roger till the sun fell behind the horizon. Slowly I felt the scar Peter had left on my neck, he had healed my bruises but something told me he would never heal that. My fingers traced the bumps of my skin that had healed in the shape of his teeth and I vowed one day to get my own back. As night blanketed the world around me I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“I came to apologise for kissing you and to bring you back to camp, pan is a little upset you snuck away” Felix spoke softly whist crouching down, as if he was afraid of angering me.

“I wanted to visit my father.”

“He’ll be fine”

“Not if I do something wrong.”

“Pan wont hurt him”

“He will felix you know he will, he gives me emotional whiplash with how quickly he changes mood, I act fine with it but he really-” I turned to look at the boy, I refused to show sadness or fear but it was almost like he saw anyway. Searching my face his eyes stopped on my lips.

“He really what?” Muttered felix, eyes still on my lips.

“Nothing” felix’s eyes leapt up to mine. A small shake of his head brought him back to reality and he jumped up.

“Come on lost girl, let’s go” he lifted me to my feet easily and hooked his arm around mine. Nearing the camp he let me go and walked ahead of me as if to keep up a facade. “I found her” I heard him state to the boys. They whooped and cheered as I shyed my way in.

Pan appeared in front of me with an excited glee to his face “let’s dance” he pulled me around the fire and I tried to follow on but there was no music in the air. “You have to believe annie” whispered Pan, “believe you can hear the music and it will come to you. You can do anything if you just believe”

I concentrated hard but I couldn’t hear it, leaving the boys to dance gleefully I retired to my room, once again allowing my head to hit the pillow, but no tears came. Only sleep.

I was on the beach watching the ocean lap at my feet, Peter sat beside me and seemed to enjoy the view. Suddenly I was on my back and he was on top of me, hands either side of my head and nose to nose.

“I should kiss you my little lost girl”

“Don’t you dare” he chuckled and ghosted his lips over mine.

“You’ve kissed my friend, twice, why can’t I kiss you?”

“I don’t want you to kiss me”

“I always get what I want annie”

“You don’t want me pan, you want chaos, to kiss me would mean you want something else”

“And what’s that” his lips were touching mine slightly his eyes closed his breath steady.

“To kiss would mean growing up” his eyes shot open and he pulled away pulling me out of my dream and landing on my back in my bed. I looked around but I was alone, the memory of his lips just tickling mine floated across my mind “just a dream” I assured myself, turning onto my side and falling back into sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Weeks went by and the little game Peter and I invented got more and more intense with every day. Some days he would win and some days I would win, other times we called it a draw and moved forward with the day’s chores.

I considered it a win if I could go a whole day without angering him, he won if he hurt me in some way, either physically or mentally.

We played many games, throw the knife at the target (me), chase the mouse (me), mermaid bait (me), kiss chase (me, peter won that one and kissed my cheek, none of the boys dared go near me). In every game i was the victim, in every battle i was the bait, and in every dream my self control was tested beyond measure.

No matter how many times we played those games, no matter how many times i won or lost, i never let the boys see me as weak. I pretended sure, but one night we were playing hide and seek in the dark. Pan had declared me and felix be the hunters until we had found almost every boy, except one.

Peter had grown bored with hiding and had taken it upon himself to help us search, we found the boy in a tree, an arrow sticking out of his heart. The poor new boy, he had gone unknowingly too close to the indian’s territory and had paid the price for his stupidity.

“Good.” Declared Peter. “I cant stand stupid lost boys, i would have killed him myself if i had found him here.”

“For god’s sake Pan” i sighed. “You seriously have no care that one of your boys are dead without your command?” He thought about it as i continued. “The Indians took one of ours without your say so, don’t you control this island?” Pan flew at me hand gripping my neck.

“Are you questioning my authority?!” He growled

“No, dear Peter, never” he released my neck slowly. “But they sure as hell just did” something clicked in Pan’s eyes and his hand left my neck to go straight to his mouth. His signature whistle could be heard over the whole island, suddenly the boys appeared whooping and cheering. Pan’s sour face made them still as he pointed to the boy in the tree.

“The Indians have taken one of ours, time they pay the price, right boys?!” He raised his sword in the air and the boys cheered at the promise of bloodshed. “Attack position three, we take their princess, alive.” Some of the boys moaned at this. “A new target for our own princess, don’t you think?” Pan stared at me, awaiting my response, I thought of an answer that would please the demon and hoped it was enough.

“Oh no dear Peter, surely you should get first dibs on our prisoner” he opened his mouth to speak but I stepped forward and pressed a finger to his lips. “Of course, we could always share” his eyes darkened at my suggestion, the poor boy was like putty in my hands. “You just have to go get her first, right boys” I stepped back and revelled in the cheers they gave me.

Pan crowed and the boys set off, he paused as if to see if I was going too.

“We can’t leave him up there, I’ll go get him, and you get another princess”

“Finally coming around to that nickname hey princess?”

“Hmm we’ll see” I winked at the boy and he took off. I knew now how to play Peter Pan just right, like a guitar, if I played the right chords then I would get a rewarding note, usually in the form of more food at dinner or a night just looking at the stars.

I succeeded in collecting the poor boy and carried him back to camp. Luckily neverland had made me stronger, I picked a spot to bury him and looked around for a shovel. I believed with all my heart that I had to bury the boy and sure enough a shovel appeared by the tree I was looking at. Shrugging it off I buried the small boy and left a smooth stone upon the freshly dug earth.

Pan and the boys arrived moments later with a cage and swung it into the tree. I admired the handy work of the cage and caught felix watching me. “What” I mouthed silently

He tilted his head to the side and mouthed back “tree”. Pan’s thinking tree had become the place in my dreams where pan and I would discuss little things, no longer would he try to kiss me and no longer did I hate him. I didn’t love him, no far from that, but in a way I admired his leadership skills and his ability to accept any challenge.

“You could have asked me to come yourself you know” I smirked as I sauntered towards his tree. “Or waited until tonight” he dropped from a branch higher up and landed right in front of me. I didn’t flinch.

“Impressive princess, neverland has really got under your skin”

“Maybe it’s all the fresh air” I giggled, pan cracked a small smile at this and took my hand. He led me to the tree with an almost kind touch. We sat down and he began.

“Do you want to leave neverland?” I was confused by the sudden question and it made me pause.

“No” 

“You hesitated”

“Not I didn’t I ju-“

“You did you hesitated” his eyes caught mine and I saw the spark of rage beginning to build. There was only one way out of this. Remembering the most useful skill I had on this island I started to cry.

“You’re bored of me aren’t you? You want me to go?” I let the tears trickle down my face, it wasn’t the tears that shocked pan it was the words. “You hate me and you want me to leave, have I not been good to you? I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me and more, I’ve killed for you peter!!” 

I buried my head in my hands and sobbed like my life depended on it. It did. I waited three seconds, that’s always how long it took for pan to think of a come back. Three seconds, five seconds, ten seconds but his response never came. I prepared myself, sniffed, wiped my eyes and stood to walk away.

Pan grabbed my hand and spun me around into his chest. He held me close for what seemed like ages and then slowly lifted my face up to his. “You’re wrong” he whispered. “One girl is worth more than twenty boys, if that girl is you” I gasped at his answer and caught his eyes, I had come to know pan, his eyes were calm, he was telling the truth. “I cannot love you, I am incapable of that, but if I could love anyone, I’d want to love you”

He lowered his face and his lips touched mine, ever so softly, i wasn’t sure why but I wanted more, I inched forward to deepen his kiss and he obliged. We parted after a few seconds. There was no breathlessness, no gasping for air. Just silence. “Thank you for telling me, but may I ask” his eyes opened and found mine, they were full of question. “Why can’t you love?”

“Oh my dear sweet princess” his smirk returning “Do you want me to fall in love with you?” Peter was gone and pan was back.

“Ew, no” I laughed. “I’m just curious, you love neverland don’t you?” He looked genuinely intrigued by my question.

“Maybe because my heart is somewhere in neverland” I laughed and put my hand on his chest.

“Surely it should be right here” he chuckled and smiled slightly at my comment, he grabbed my hand and with a slight push both our hands were inside his chest.

“What do you feel?” I closed my eyes and just felt, but nothing came to me, there was no beating.

“Nothing”

“Exactly” he pulled our hands out and I took a moment to look at my hand, shocked at where it just was. “No heartbeat means...” he paused for my answer.

“No heart” I whispered.

“And no heart means...?”

“You cannot love”

“So forgive me when I repeat myself princess, but if I could love you, I would. At the moment I value you, I would kill for you.”

“Thank you”

“For what?”

“Your honesty” I smiled as softly as possible and returned to my treehouse.


	10. Chapter 10

A sharp tapping on my door stopped me as I was preparing for bed.

“Felix?” I whispered “what’s wrong?”

“Pan is asleep, come on I wanna show you something.” I shrugged and let him lead me through the woods, the night was young but we had all grown bored of our sleeping native an so thought an early night would be more ideal for early morning torture.

Felix and I ran through the woods and came across a treehouse, a magical barrier enveloped the house and some of the ground around it. Walking through the barrier was like being washed clean of any bad things.

“This used to belong to tinker bell, if Pan asks why we were here tell him you had a dream about the place and needed to check it out.

“You were the only one awake and so asked you to go with me, Yeh I get it” I winked at him and for a slight moment he faltered.

“This....uh is the only place on the island that pan can’t sense you, hear you, see you and strangest of all, he can’t enter.”

“Wow so the ultimate hideout?”

“Yeh, none of the lost boys come here.”

“Why? They scared of a fairy ghost?”

“Yeh actually, she guards this place and kills anyone who enters” I paused. Felix smiled at the look on my face. “I’m kidding” he laughed. I made a point to smack his arm in fake annoyance but I was laughing too. “She’s still alive, but she made it off the island years ago, no one knows how, come on in”

I followed up the steps into a small room with a divider covering the bed, every window was covered to keep people from seeing in and so felix lit a candle.

“Won’t the lost boys see?”

“Like I said they never come here.” I smiled and took a seat on one of the chairs, Felix crouched in front of me. 

“So if she was a fairy how was she normal sized, I thought-“ I was cut off by the feel of lips on mine. So soft and warm, I melted into them. Our kisses got hungrier and soon in one swoop I was lifted into his arms, my legs wrapped around his waist. He sat on the bed me still straddled around him, our lips still moving against the others. His hands found their way to my hips and pulled me closer, I could feel his smile and took the chance to pause for air, my hands around his neck and foreheads pressed together.

“What are you smiling wickedly about?” He grinned and chuckled softly bringing his hand up to my face.

“It’s nice to kiss without the fear of being bitten” I giggled pitifully, if pan could see me now he would regret all kindness he had ever shown me. “Can I keep you?”

“Just for this moment. Just you and me.”

“Tell me why you made pan love you”

“I didn’t mean to, it just sort of happened whilst I was trying to be nice and keep him happy. All the boys have fun when pan is happy.”

“I don’t, I wish I could steal you away, just me and you, it doesn’t have to be on this island, somewhere far away, I would willingly grow old with you”

“Felix don’t say such things, we are stuck here until the end of time”

“Or our deaths”

“Don’t make this harder, I can keep pan happy and as such keep all the island happy”

“Just don’t lose who you are Annie, I love you the way you are”

“You love me?”

“Well I don’t really know what love is but I know that I couldn’t live without you, I would do anything to make you happy”

“That sounds like love to me” I gasped and kissed him again. “I promise if we ever get off this island, I will allow myself to love you, I want to love you” felix smiled sadly. “If Pan knew about this then I would risk loosing both you and my father.”

“I won’t tell if you won’t” came his cheeky reply and the touch of his lips sealed our promise. Soon I had a bad feeling that I was in danger and shot back. “Are you sure we can’t be heard?”

“Yeh why?”

“I think I heard something, I think someone is here”

I stepped forward and whispered in his ear “act like it’s a game, who can last the longest against the ghost of the fairy. Run out laughing”

So we did and ran out of the barrier and straight into Pan, we didn’t falter we just kept laughing. “What the hell are you two playing at?”

“Sorry peter, it was such a tempting idea for a game I couldn’t resist” I laughed doubled over.

“I couldn’t find you!”

“That’s the point peter!” I gasped, feigning chest pains and clutching my heart. “I thought my heart would burst out of my chest, the fear of you not being able to save us if something went wrong just made it all the more scarier” I laughed again as felix pretended to recover.

“The lost boys and I do it all the time, we try not to rely on you too much, it’s like a game or a test” tested felix.

“That will be all felix” pan sternly replies. Felix nodded and turned leaving me a dejected look behind Pan’s back before he left and I felt horrid.

“Oh come on Peter it’s such a fun game” a sharp sting hit my face knocking me to the floor and a kick to my gut nearly made me throw up.

“How many times do I have to tell you?” Growled Pan, pulling me up by the throat from the ground. “I own you, I control you.”

“You do Peter, I only-“ my air was cut off and just when my vision started to falter pan dropped me back to the ground. I coughed and gasped for air while he stood and circled me like a vulture.

“What were you doing in there?”

“Peter” I pleaded as his foot came down on my chest. I felt my ribs popping and I panicked “Peter please we were playing a game and then we were talking about a party for you for being so-“ I gasped in release as his foot moved off “so amazing and protective, then there was a noise and we both jumped and ran, scaring ourselves.” I doubled over and coughed up blood, not a good sign.

“A party?”

“Celebration, cake, dancing, games” I muttered. “Peter I would never do anything against you, I-“ I paused to look up in his eyes, before my world went dark I whispered “I love you”


	11. Chapter 11

I awoke to the sun high in the sky, alone in my bed, ribs healed and coughing gone, the taste of blood was still in my mouth but it didn’t bother me, what bothered me was the taste of lies on my lips. I had told Pan I loved him, I was an idiot.

From outside came a commotion and I peeked my head around to look. Tiger lily had woken up.

The boys had waited patiently and cheered loudly when their captive woke up and started shouting profanities at them. I took my chance to appear strong and rushed outside.

“Oi tiger lilly” I yelled. Her neck snapped towards me and I smirked at the scowl on her face. “There are kids here, you mind watching your language?!” A chuckle came from behind me. Pan had used his magic to sneak in, little shit.

“Yeh and watch your volume” he yelled, putting his hand around my waist. I was used to his touch and even slightly enjoyed it when we joked about the relationship we had. “We would like to keep our hearing thanks”

“Although some of us would like to hear less of others” I laughed wiggling my finger in my ear and the lost boys laughed with me, even peter joined in, my joke must have amused him. The tightening of his hand on my waist said otherwise. I glanced once again at the caged girl and felt a hatred I had never felt before. “These boys are absolute sweethearts, they would never hurt a fly.” 

The lost boys stopped and pulled adorable poses and batted their eyelashes at the girl. She stupidly spat at the ground and continued to shout threats at the boys. Feeling suddenly protective of the boys I considered family I marched forward and a strange confidence that I only got from being near pan engulfed me along with my desire to protect. I stopped in front of the rope to her cage and dropped her so she was eye level, she screamed at her descent and I heard pan laugh slightly.

“Threaten my boys again, I dare you. You don’t wanna anger me, girl, do you know what happens when you threaten a mama bear’s Cubs?” The girl shook her head. “Real bad things, and who knows, you may even get torn to shreds, so keep it down and don’t threaten my family okay?” I pulled a pan and raised one of my eyebrows, the girl moved back so she was right up against the cage and nodded, fear in her eyes. 

I changed my whole demeanour and smiled a huge grin “thanks sweetie, you’re a doll” and pulled the rope so she flew up into the trees once more. I handed the rope to the nearest lost boy and danced back to my treehouse.

I passed pan, he was frozen in what I thought was shock but when I turned to shut the door, it was already closed and he was staring at me with fire in his eyes. “What was that?” He growled.

“What?” I gestured lifting my shoulders. “I consider the boys to be family.”

“They’re mine” growled Pan

“Yeh well I love them too!” I growled back.

“Why do you keep defying me”

“I don’t defy you, I do everything you say and more.” I quickly scoured my brain for a romantically violent saying. “I would kill for you, I’d die for you, hell, I may even grow old if you asked me to. I love you Peter” I batted my eyelashes and thanks to whatever god was listening he took the bait.

Within two strides pan had crossed the gap, his hands pulling my face to his and his lips crashed down onto mine. “I was wrong” he gasped. You’re no princess” 

I felt gutted at his comment, I had failed. After a long pause he lifted my chin back up, for somehow I had lowered in to look sadly at his chest, he looked me boldly in the eyes with a hunger I had only ever got from felix. 

“You’re a queen” he smirked his eyes sparkling at his words and it was my turn to kiss him. He stayed that night and every night afterwards. His kisses leading to bites and his touching leading to more.

A few days later, much to the hatred of Felix, Pan made me officially his queen and announced it to all of neverland, I was still cautious around him but the boy’s heart, wherever it was, no doubt belonged to me.


	12. Chapter 12

The few months after my coronation was a whirl, the boy’s respected me and pan and I stayed close together almost all the time. Sometime close to what I assumed had been 6 months on the island it finally happened, Felix stopped acting over his jealousy.

I was training the boys whilst pan did his checks of the island but felix wouldn’t cooperate. We stood with his arms crossed and refused to move, some of the boys tried to copy him but they soon moved after a glare from me. I had perfected Pan’s eyebrow glare, it was great fun to try on people.

Eventually I lost my shit with the lost boy. “Okay felix, time to train”

“I don’t need to train with you” scoffed the boy. I could feel my anger building but I kept it down, I still cared deeply for him even if I wasn’t allowed.

“Oh come on lixy I’m not gunna hurt you” I winked. A simple gesture that a few months ago would have rewarded me a smile simply got me an intense scowl. I matched his scowl and his stance. “Come and hurt me felix, you know you want to” all the lost boys stopped to watch.

With a growl felix came at me with one of the training sticks, I blocked him easily, he was shocked at how. “I’m stronger than you”

“Oh hunny bear this is a challenge? I thought we were just working on your pent up anger but,” I looked up at him through my lashes “if it’s a challenge you want.

I pushed and the boy went flying. I kept my control and twisted this way and that, dodging his moves.

“You’re cheating!”

“How dare you accuse me of such a thing!” I feigned shock. “Maybe if you trained instead of sulked, you would be able to hit me.”

His anger got the better of him and he became quicker. I kept up with him, my stamina and flexibility had stayed with me through the months on the island and I used them comfortably to dodge his blows. Suddenly his stick became a real sword and I knew who had joined the party.

“Maybe this time you can actually hit me felix” I joked but he wasn’t in the mood. Once again he swiped, he stumbled into the dirt and the lost boys laughed. “Back to training you codfish!” And they scrambled to flee. “Come on felix, just you an me now”

“But it isn’t!, it’s never been just you and me, you always choose him!” Oh Hell no he could not go there, not while Pan was watching.

“Felix you need to stop I’m not going to fight you, I told you fairly that my choice was Pan, it will always be Pan”

“You chose wrong”

“No felix I followed my heart and there is NOTHING wrong with that” I could feel the tears falling, I had told him straight that we had to stop, I couldn’t pull him along.

“There is everything wrong with that!! But if I can’t have you then no one can” he lunged forward and before I could move his sword had hit its target. Right in Peter’s chest.

“Felix What the hell!!” I screamed catching Peter in my arms, I knew he couldn’t die but he was in a damn lot of pain. I waved my hand over the sword and healed the wound, it would still need time to heal fully but I had stopped it from bleeding. I looked up at felix, his face was full of terror, I waved my hand over him and his him in the only place that I could keep him safe from Pan then I looked at the bundle in my arms.

“His he okay?” Mumbled a lost boy coming out from the trees, others followed and I made sure to assure them.

“He will be fine my darlings, now gather around me and I will take us all back to camp”

I didn’t mother the boys often, I was their queen, but late at night when they cried for their families or when they injured themselves badly, I would always stop and hug them, stroke their hair and sometimes even sing them lullabies. I was first and foremost their queen but deep down they were like my brothers, and I knew I would do anything for them. 

I took us back to camp and laid Peter on my bed, then I went out and made sure all the boys were okay. Pan had taught me how to use the magic he had found inside me, I summoned up a piano and played their favourite song. When I finished I enchanted the piano to play a joyful song and the boys danced.

I left them to their joy and approached the native, still in her cage.

“Pretty words” she spat.

“I dance too, want to see?” She scowled at me but nodded and so I teleported her and me into a quiet place deep in the forest. She stretched and smiled at being out of the cage and scanned her surroundings. “Don’t run, I just need some time with another female, just dance with me lily?”

She seemed pleased at my calling her that and she smiled. I created a green pair of point shoes and a flowing green dress. “You ready?” Her face was full of wonder at my ensemble and after a few seconds harp music started to flow through the air.

Her eyes never left me the entire time and when I finished with a pirouette she clapped and started walking around me.

“What on earth are you looking for?”

“Rope, do you use magic?” I giggled and showed her. “Teach me” she gasped.

Keeping a scan on Peter I knew I had time and so showed her a few moves “ballet is the hardest of all dance styles”

“Bal-lay” she tested, learning a new word and French at that, I was almost proud. Soon the sun started to dip and I took us back to camp, regular clothes and shoes returned to normal. I gave her a sorry look through the bars of her cage and she whispered “it’s okay, go”

I returned to Peter as he started to stir, when he opened his eyes I ambushed him with kisses. “Oh Peter I was so worried, just ignore what felix said” I love you and only you”

“Okay okay love” he laughed getting up to sit. “Were you really that worried?”

“The lost boys were distraught, and to avoid any thought of her planning an escape I played a game with our native, she won’t be leaving any time soon. And felix I trapped in a place he wouldn’t dare leave.” I held his face in my hands and made a show of checking him over.

“I’m alright love just come here” he pulled me in close to growl in my ear. “If I find there is anything going on with you and felix, I’ll tear you to shreds with my bare hands.”

“Honestly Peter, I told him to back off months ago, I’m yours I always have been and I always will be” he smirked and pulled me in for a real hug this time, deep and warm.

A few months later pan was fully recovered and felix was allowed back into the group under very different circumstances and with a huge gash across his face, pan still trusted him, but not around me.


	13. Chapter 13

A few days after Felix came back to camp I pulled him aside.

“Felix” he glanced at the floor “look at me” I whispered. He still didn’t look, I raised on my tiptoes and sang a quiet song in his ear, one I had sang to him a few months ago.

“In another life, I would be your girl,

We’d keep all our promises....”

I waited, my breath quiet, waiting for his response. I lowered to put my feet flat on the floor and rested my forehead on his shoulder. Before I could move away felix put his hand on my arm and leaned in.

“...be us against the world” he whispered and before I could respond he stormed away.

That night I took the time to walk the island alone. I walked past the waterfall and under the cliffs, through the trees and on the sandy beach. For the first time in a long time, pan joined me.

“You’re sad” he stated calmly.

“A little, I was thinking of my mother”

“Would you like to see her?” I whipped to face him. 

“You can do that?” He nodded. With a wave of his hand I was in my home. I bounded up the stairs, making no sound with my feet, and burst through mother’s bedroom door, it was empty. I searched every room in the house, taking a moment longer in my room. Peter followed me silently, just watching me search.

“Where is she?” Peter just shrugged at my question and took me back to the island. “Is she dead?” I gasped, my eyes threatening tears.

“I don’t know” peter seemed genuinely upset that he couldn’t help me. I assessed his green eyes, he was sad too.

“Why did you want to help me?”

“You know why Annie” he turned to walk away but I pulled him back. I analysed his face in the moonlight, my fingers traced his cheeks and his nose, his lips and his magical brows. With the softest touch, I kissed his lips.

“Peter” I whispered, his eyes held mine and sparkled slightly. “Peter Pan” he sighed and closed his eyes. I could feel a pull in my chest, a need to be here, to stay in this moment for forever. “Peter I truly, truly love you” he opened his eyes and looked into my soul. “I never realised just how much until now” our foreheads touched and I almost cried at the emotion I could feel inside me. 

With a snap we were back in my room, within minutes we were kissing on the bed, bodies entwined. For the first time it wasn’t rough and quick, it was slow and meaningful. For someone who couldn’t love, Peter could definitely make it.

For the first time since I had started saying it, I actually meant it. I fell in love with him that night. 

The next morning we were up on the cliff overlooking the sea, pan had his arm around my waist. “Peter” I tested, looking up at him. “Never let me leave neverland?”

“Of course my queen, I wouldn’t dream of it.” A whoosh of air left me dizzy and the next thing I knew I crashed into my bed.

Breakfast was a surprisingly quiet affair, pan had left to scan the island with the order that I was not to be spoken to. I carried on eating, wondering what I had done, but I knew not to go against his orders. All the boys shifted glances at me, no one talked or even dared breathe when suddenly the sky turned dark and thunder rumbled. Pan returned seething with a simple order.

“Defence positions, the pirates are coming” I didn’t show the fear in my face when I worried if my father was one of them. I just ran to the nearest tree and climbed as high as i could for a viewpoint.

All was quiet, the calm before the storm. None of us knew why pan was so riled up at the pirates coming, they had apparently come before. I wondered if I was the cause, it had been too long since I had been seen by the captain and my father, maybe they thought I was in danger because I hadn’t been to visit.

A scream pierced the air and I spotted a blur shoot towards the sound, pan. I slid down the tree and followed, lost boys gathered together around the cause of the scream.

As I approached I felt a tugging in my head, as if I had forgotten who I was, I remembered being important to pan, but I didn’t know how or why. I approached a clearing and saw one of the pirates clutching his stomach, a lost boy’s arrow was embedded under his fingers.

“What happened?!” Yelled pan. All of us took a step back, he was seething. Another tug in my brain told me I needed to calm him down but I didn’t know how. Some of the boys pointed at a boy I didn’t recognise.

Pan walked forward and broke the boys neck, he had given away our position and the pirates were coming for revenge. I glared at pan, hatred building, was it hatred?

“Why are you staring at me like that?” He raised his eyebrow and gave me puppy dog eyes, back home I would have found this cute on another guy but on pan it was scary.

“I’m hoping you’ll spontaneously combust and then no one else will have to die” I winked and turned my back on the boy. Thunder rumbled around us and the sky grew darker, it was almost pitch black. “Pan stop it!!”

“I’m not doing anything!” Yelled the boy.

Suddenly he clutched at his chest as if his heart hurt, and dropped to his knees. Felix was right at his side. Pan gestured to me and felix to come in closer “someone has my heart, this was a diversion!” Felix shot up and dragged me and pan behind the trees. “Felix get me to the cave, Bethany-“ I knew something was wrong, he used my name. “Get the boys back to the camp, if we don’t come back keep them safe.”

“Why me?!” I gasped but felix had already left with him and I was alone.

“Boys, back to camp, Pan’s orders!!” Off we ran, some stumbled but I stayed at the back of the pack until we were all safe. We all piled into the little house as the wind around us blew. Then as if someone had flicked a switch, it stopped. I put my fingers to my lips to hush the boys around me. They whimpered and cowered, afraid not of what would happen to them but to Pan.

I inched forward to poke my head around the door but Ed stopped me “If they don’t come back we will need you, I’ll check outside” I nodded and he left.

A few minutes later Ed returned with a smile on his face “all clear” we all piled outside and saw the sun shine, we picked up the debris and cleared the camp, relit the fire and started organising a search for felix and pan.

“Where would they go that involves pan and his heart?” We all sat around stumped at my question until nibs piped up, “why don’t you check his tent?” It was an honest question but in the time I had been here I knew that no one stepped foot in pans tent, not even felix, but something in my head once again told me I was wrong, I was allowed in there, I was sure of it.

We all stood around the entrance and I felt a nudge on my back, nibs gestured for me to go and all the boys took a step back “cowards” I gasped under my breath. I stepped through the folds of the tent and into the room before me. He had only a hammock and a desk. A letter lay on his desk, it had my name on it. I picked it up with trembling fingers and split the seal on the back. Out fell a feather I knew to be felix’s and a note.

My queen

There’s no time. Felix and I are in danger. Wear this feather, it is connected to me and felix, think of us and you should be able to find us. Tell the lost boys situation three, they know what it means, choose a temporary leader and they will be okay.

Pan

I read it to the boys, some of them wept, some returned to their tents but all were heartbroken at the loss of their leader and their friend.

As predicted some of the older ones started building defenses and making extra arrows, automatically they began dishing out orders.

“Wait Ed” The boy stopped “how did you guys know to do this? I thought you couldn’t-“

“Function without Pan?” He finished. “Yeh felix told us not to rely on him too much, Felix taught us to face our fears just in case Pan wasn’t here to protect us and now-“

“Now he’s gone and so is Felix” the boy and I hung our heads. “Hey Ed what happens to the island if Pan isn’t here?” The boy shrugged and turned to help a small boy tie some knots.

A small noise above me alerted me to the native still in her cage. “Hey boys” the syncopated chant of “Yes your majesty” shocked me but I took it in my stride.

“What will happen to our little friend up there if we run out of things to do?” A young boy ran up to me and pulled my sleeve.

“If we do well at playing defenses can we chase her?”

“Hmm, maybe if you play well” I smiled and the boy lept off to go back to his “job” the faces on the younger boys gave me all the information I needed. They had been taught what to do in a game environment but the older boys had stern looks on their faces, without Pan they knew they could be facing certain death.

I gave the girl a small nod and she gave me a smile and a wave. Odd, I had no memory of interacting with her yet she seemed friendly with me. Today was just getting weirder.

I pottered around doing what I could then pulled felix feather out of my pocket, it was clearly enchanted and was beautiful to behold. I attached the feather to my hair like felix had and thought hard of both of him and Pan, their faces and their touches both good and bad. Nothing. There was no feeling, no magic wind. Just silence. I told the lost boys to finish their jobs and make sure to rest before nightfall

I retired to my own bed and rested my head on my pillow. I closed my eyes but nothing came, no sounds, no magic, no clues, no sleep. I called off the pathetic sleep attempt and found my way back to pan’s tent. It smelt of him here, I grabbed his pillow and inhaled to see if that would spark anything but still nothing came. Frustrated I threw it back onto his hammock and turned to the desk for clues, there were drawings and maps of not only the island but other places too. Fumbling with the feather in my hair I thought of where on the island pan and felix might be.

“They aren’t on the island, it will crash and burn without it’s king”

A simple sentence clear and direct in my head. I checked around but I was alone. I took some deep breaths and once again thought

“If neverland is in danger then tell me where they are”

Silence.

“How do I get to them?”

“Hook” and with that single word I took off sprinting


	14. Chapter 14

Reaching the dock I took a rowboat without a care for the consequences. Halfway between me and the ship I noticed the water start to shimmer, faces started to appear along with tails. As I was distracted a face appeared out of the water and started to sing. Luckily my father had told me of the waters and I threw my hands up in defence.

“Wait, before you do anything to me please know I am the only one who can save pan.”

The mermaids calm demure vanished.

“What happened to our peter?”

“I don’t know, but I’m determined to find out, I don’t think they’re on the island anymore.”

“We can travel between realms, we can find him if you wish”

“That would actually be amazing, but only if you can spare the time” 

“Oh for peter we will do anything, even keep his precious queen alive” the mermaid winked and dived, a moment later the mermaids had left. I was confused, I wasn’t peter’s Queen, was I?

As I approached the ship I yelled out “hook! papa! Let me up!” A rope appeared and I attached it to my little boat before climbing up. Before I could reach the deck, hands pulled me up and I found myself face to face once again with my papa. We embraced before I started to look for the captain.

“Well lass, we thought you had been locked up by the brute and then we find out the bastard made you his queen” a lantern flashed over my face and the cold steel of his hook stroked pan’s brand on my neck

“Queen? I’m not his queen, I’m not important to pan” my father and hook exchanged glances but I ignored them.

“He missing, the lost boys are distraught, I don’t want to be in charge, please hook, I have reason to believe you can find both him and felix.”

“I will not help that demon, if he is gone then neverland is all the more safer for it.”

“Neverland will die without pan!!” He addressed the fear on my face and came to a conclusion that I had never in a million years believed.

“You love him, clear as day.”

“Hook don’t be so petty, he is literally keeping neverland alive and without him this land will die!” I continued. “I have no love for that boy or what he did to me, I’ve had it easier than others but if I find him and felix then maybe I can save the rest of the boys too.”

Hook paused, different emotions flashed across his face, he was clearly deep in thought. “I have a bean” he said finally.

“A what?”

“A magic bean, you go find pan, get me more beans then come back, that is my price.” He placed the lantern onto his hook and rifled in his pocket. “When you know where you’re going you picture it clearly in your head and throw the bean on the floor, you will have ten seconds to jump into it, just picture where you’re going very clearly.”

“I’m going alone?”

“Aye lass and I’m sorry for that but I promise that my crew will not harm the boys until your return, in fact I will ask your father be in charge of their protection.”

“M me?” Stuttered my father

“Aye ben, as soon as your annie finds the way to pan you will protect the boys.”

“Thank you papa, and thank you hook” I kissed their cheeks respectively and turned to leave.

“Oh and Annie”

“Hook”

“Stay safe, pan may be dangerous but there are even worse things in this universe.” I nodded at his warning and made my way back to the boys.

They seemed upset at my departure too but were excited at the prospect of getting pan back. There was uproar at the news of my father the pirate protecting them but when I explained that he was the only one who could keep them safe they agreed.

That night I stayed near the water, it was sunrise before the mermaids arrived and told me the place where pan and felix were. I thanked them profusely waved the signal to my father about my departure and bid goodbye to the land that was crumbling without its king. I threw the bean and thought hard about the name the mermaid had given me, the place I was going, Storybrooke.


	15. Chapter 15

I landed face down in the middle of a road luckily I knew what it was and moved out of the way before getting run over. I scanned the area grateful that my clothes were relatively normal, save for my sword at my hip and my bow over my shoulder, I didn’t have my arrows but I knew how to make more. This place was like home but eerily different.

A blonde woman stood in front of me, her red leather jacket shining in the sunlight.

“What the hell happened there kid?” She came towards me and I noticed her own sword attached to her back. “How did you get a magic bean, do you have more?”

“No I’m sorry that was my only one, I need to get more as soon as I find my friends, any chance there haven’t been two boys about my age, scars? Dark eyebrows? tall?”

“No one new in town that I know of, you from the enchanted forest?”

“No I came from neverland”

“Wait neverland is real?”

“Uh yeh, looking for Peter Pan actually”

“My my dearie that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time” came a voice from behind the blonde woman. The voice belonged to a man limping on a cane, Scottish accent strong. “I’m afraid you won’t find pan here”

“I have reason to believe I will, are you hiding him, and felix?”

“Tut tut deary we don’t want to be making bad impressions with accusations now do we?” Usually I would have a sassy come back but something deep down told me that the man in front of me was so much more dangerous than even pan.

“I’m sorry, I’m just in a rush, neverland is lost without pan and both he and felix are my friends” I felt a tingle of magic against pan’s mark and I knew it was the man.

“Do friends mark one another where you’re from?” I stayed silent

“Oh come on gold I can tell you know something” expressed the woman, clearly tired of the man’s antics. ‘Gold’ simply shrugged and turned to leave.

“Please” I gasped “if you discover anything, please tell me”

The man simply limped away.

“I’m Emma” stated the blonde woman. “Come on let’s go to granny’s you look half starved”

“But I have no money”

“Come on” she put her hand over my shoulder and led me to a quaint little cafe. The bell jingled as we entered and I assessed the room. Everyone smiled at Emma’s entrance and greeted her warmly, I searched for felix and peter but to no avail. Emma guided me straight to a booth with a boy sat inside drinking what looked like hot chocolate.

“This is my son Henry, Henry this young lady is looking for Peter Pan, any sign of him in your book?” Henry looked confused.

“I know the story of Peter Pan but I’ve never seen it in this book. Flies, crows and kills pirates?”

“Yeh that’s him, but the story is very different to the real thing.” The eyes of my audience widened as I told them my tale, showed them my bruises and pan’s mark on my neck.

“He bit you that hard?” Gasped a woman who I hadn’t even noticed appear next to me. I jumped at her voice but the two opposite seemed used to her appearance.

“Regina don’t frighten her, sounds like she’s had enough fear for one lifetime”

“Not enough clearly as she’s still looking for her captor”

“I’m just trying to save neverland”

“What’s wrong with it?” Piped up the boy opposite me.

“Without pan the island will falter, the lost boys are distraught, the fairies are loosing their lights and the days are darker, it was happening before pan left but now it’s happening even faster” I felt the tears threaten to spill but I imagined pan was in the room and my tears stopped.

“He is near” the magic voice in my head cheered.

The jingle of the cafe bell turned our heads and sure enough there stood peter, he was different in the way he was dressed and the way he was smiling, it was no longer full of malice, he was genuinely happy.

“Thomas!” Called a boy from over the room and pan smiled even harder. My eyes followed him, not subtly.

“That’s thomas, he’s the new boy in our school, he and his big brother just moved here, they’re really nice.” Piped up Henry, I turned to look at the innocent boy. He caught my stare and so did Emma.

“No Henry, that isn’t Thomas, that’s pan.” All four of us looked over at the group of boys who were ordering milkshakes and laughing at things on their phones. “I’ve never seen him so...relaxed before”

“Oh no you don’t sister” Regina grabbed my shoulders and shook me slightly. “It’s a trick, don’t fall for him. He’s been cursed, I can sense it”


	16. Chapter 16

We spent all day at the cafe coming up with ideas for how I would save pan and felix. Regina took henry back home and Emma bought me dinner before stating that we had to leave. Granny was closing up. Just as Emma and I left a shoulder bumped into me.

“I’m so so-“ I started but as soon as I saw those green eyes my words failed.

“Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going, you okay” He was sincere in his apology. I just stared. Emma had to save me.

“We gotta go, we’re gunna be late.” She turned me around and she dragged me away from the demon with absolutely no memory of who I was.

Once we were near Emma’s home she turned to me and grabbed my shoulders.

“Bethany, you have been explaining to me all day how that boy treated you badly, he turns around and you all but melt into his arms, you can’t do that.”

“He didn’t know me, his face was so calm and happy, he has no memory, I’m sure of it” Emma paused before getting me up the stairs, the door opened before Emma could insert her key and a face appeared instantly scolding her for missing dinner.

“Mom this is Bethany, she needs our help.” The scolding stopped and the door opened wide, the woman welcomed me into an open plan flat with not very much furniture.

“we haven’t got a lot of space but we will make do.”

“Sorry but you’re the same age, how the hell are you-“ 

“That’s a very long story” came a man from behind a curtain, he put his arm around the two women and grinned.

“Well, I’ve got all night”

We exchanged stories until almost midnight when Mary Margaret put her hands in the air and declared bedtime for all.

I was nestled under blankets on the sofa watching the family get themselves ready for bed. My eyes started to droop and for the first time in a long time I dreamt of my mother.

I awoke to the smell of pancakes, I hadn’t realised just how much I had missed pancakes after so long eating berries and wild animals. I drifted over to the kitchen and made my presence known before talking.

“Is there anything I can help you with? Mother and I always made pancakes together.” Mary Margaret’s eyes found mine and she nodded, moving away from the stove.

I had made so many pancakes everyone was full, even Henry and Regina had come to have some, tension was thick but I didn’t ask about it. Instead I asked a different question.

“Is there any way I could make a call to London?”

“London” asked Regina, “why on earth would you call there?” I pulled my locket out from under my shirt and clicked it open, I had almost forgotten about my mother on that island but being here made me remember. Luckily, no thanks to pan and felix, no water had got inside and the picture of me and mother sat in snuggly. Surprisingly opposite was a picture I had never seen before, it was of me and papa. I looked up to see Mary Margaret looking at my pictures.

“Is that your mom and dad”

“Yeh” I nodded, turning my locket to show her. “I don’t know how long I have been on that island, I don’t know if mother is alive, I don’t know how to earn my keep here, I don’t know how to save neverland, I don’t know anything and I feel really useless” I felt the tears sting again but held them back. I felt a warm hand hold my shoulder and I knew without looking it was Mary Margaret’s.

“Hey kid how old are you?” Emma asked confidently 

“Sixteen, but that’s neverland age, I don’t know how many months have passed here”

“So still school age?”

“Yeh?”

“I tell you what, you keep going to school, and you earn your keep helping me in the station where I can locate your mom”

“A normal life?”

“Yeh, is that okay?” My answer was a huge grin across my face. “That would be amazing!”

About three hours later I was in the police station with Emma wearing my hair up in a ponytail and a green collared dress, I was uncomfortable wearing pan’s colours baring pan’s mark but he wasn’t here. I messed with felix’s feather which was bunched in my ponytail and wondered how to break the curse over peter and felix.

“Break magic with magic”

Whatever the hell that meant, the voice in my head was so vague.

“I got it” Emma’s voice broke the silence, though her victory was short lived when she saw the word next to the name. “Bethany, your mother’s name, what was it?” I peered over her shoulder at the name next to the number I had given her.

Wendy Moria Angela darling- deceased.

I choked back the tears, she had been dead for almost a year.

“I don’t understand, I was in neverland mere weeks, there was no way it was a year.”

“Bethany are you sure it was only a few weeks?” I thought hard about the question I had been posed. Emma typed a few buttons on her phone and placed it to her ear. “Regina, is there a spell that can remove memories?......uh huh........if you could, thanks”

Within seconds Regina appeared and was scanning me, I felt her magic poke and prod, she looked into my eyes and didn’t like what she saw.

“Bethany, Pan isn’t the only one that’s been cursed” my mouth dropped open. “Your memories are there, I can feel them, like a dam holds back water there’s magic blocking your memories”

“Well lets break the dam” said Emma confidently.

“Hold your horses saviour!” Regina held her hand up “you can’t just break a dam, she’ll be drowned in her memories and with the amount here she’ll never breathe again”

“What do you mean, amount? A few days worth?”

“Beth” Regina looked me straight in the eyes and held my hands tightly. “There are enough memories locked away to fill ten years”

“Someone stole ten years of her memories?!”

“No not stole, what are you, deaf?” Snapped Regina. “They’re right there, I can see them.”

“This is going to sound like a stupid question” I started “but what colour is the dam?”

“What do you mean?” Asked Emma

“I mean what colour is the magic holding my memories back?”

“Oh” realised Regina “it’s green, why?”

“Pan.”

“He has magic?” Asked Emma.

“Rumour has it, pan took a Queen in neverland too, about......”Regina paused and her eyes found mine again. “About nine years ago”

“How do you know that?” Emma questioned. She had a lot of questions.

“There was a surge of power about 9 years ago when Henry was small, when I investigated using some of my magic, I found neverland with two powerful rulers, not one.”

“Did you ever go there?” I piped up

“No. I had Henry to care for”

“The past few days people have been calling me Pan’s Queen. I thought it was a joke”

“You don’t remember any of it?” Gasped Emma. I shook my head, Regina took charge.

“The only way of bringing your memory back is to do it slowly, day by day I can release a few and hopefully that will be enough to find a way to wake Pan.”

“But I don’t have a few days, I’ve been here nearly 24 hours”

“24 hours won’t hurt” scoffed Regina

“Three days pass on neverland which equals one night here.” Regina’s smile dropped.

“So a week has probably already passed and you have nothing to show for it?” I groaned at Regina’s comment.

“This is pointless, neverland is going to die without peter and neither of us can remember why!!” I threw my head in my hands, I was angry at myself for taking so much time, I was angry at peter for taking my memories.

“Hang on a second” Regina gasped and waved her hand over my chest. “You only have half a heart”

“What?!” Both Emma and I shouted at the same time.

“It’s well guarded but I can see it, only half a heart.”

“How?!” I shouted feeling my chest.

“I don’t know, but I have a feeling you do” she gave me a pointed stare and I understood, we had to find a way to break my dam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeh great, youre here and reading but please go and read the updated version.


	17. Chapter 17

A few hours later we took a break. Both Regina and Emma tried to break my dam but neither of them could, not even both together could crack pan’s magic.

“Stupid peter and his stupid magic” I sighed. We all laughed at my comment and decided enough was enough for the day. We returned to the flat but not before I could a group of boys outside Granny’s, I noticed he was there but before I could move to hide they saw us.

“Hey look thomas it’s your girlfriend.” They pushed him to the front and he gave a feeble wave, Christ he would kill himself if he saw what he just did. I waved back and we pushed on, we got back to the flat just in time.

A memory leaked through, one of me declaring my love for someone, I could feel it, the anger at myself for loving him and the trust that engulfed my words. I was Pan’s Queen, bound to him for eternity, but something about the boy in front of me made me want more than an eternity as queen, true love, and in that moment I thought I had found it in my happiness. My heart swelled with love and joy at the thought of finding my true love, my Felix.

The walls started closing in around me at my realisation, I had betrayed Pan. Noise was a million times louder than normal, someone put their hands on me but I flinched back at their touch, it was like being burned by fire. My brain was screaming and my eyes were tearing, I grasped my head to try to pull the pain out but nothing helped, my half heart was beating a million miles a minute and my breath was practically non existent. Suddenly Regina came into my hazy view and with a wave of her hand everything stopped, I dropped and it wasn’t until the next morning that I awoke.

Once again Mary Margaret was making breakfast, eggs and toast this morning. She watched me more carefully today, I just nodded at her questions still not ready to speak and I ate silently. A few minutes after I finished Emma came in with more clothes for me and a uniform. I decided not to declare my betrayal at the breakfast table, and decided instead to focus on eating.

“First day of school, if you can’t do it kid we understand but normal life is something everyone should get the chance to experience” Emma messed with my black curls and I ended up with a beautifully sleek braid down my back, my feather tucked in tightly.

“Thank you Emma, ive not had it like this for a long time” she smiled at me and threw my uniform at me.

“Quick you’re going to be late, Henry will be here any minute come on”

We piled into Emma’s car and set off to school, sure enough with my luck Thomas was stood outside the gate chatting to a few boys.

“I’m a few years younger than you but if you need me I’ll be there.”

“Thanks Henry” I smiled at the boy and his mum, they were my saviours. “I’m ready”

As I stepped out I felt a surge of confidence at the looks I was getting, I rested my book on my hip and strutted forward with Henry confidently knowing full well whose eyes stayed on me the longest. I went to the office and pulled Henry aside. “If I ever seem stuck up or horrible around you please know that something about pan makes me want to frighten the world into submission, that’s probably why I became......” I paused and shook my head, I didn’t want Henry to know who I was just yet “but you will put me right, right?”

“Sure” smiled the boy, his dimples make me wanna pinch them.

I received a timetable and a map and made my way to the next classroom. I hadn’t sat down at a school desk for so long it felt strange. I had missed registration and the only seat left in my English class was right at the back behind, you guessed it, pan.

Luckily the day went without a hitch and I walked with Henry to the sherrif’s station confident about a first impression. Suddenly there was shouting coming from the street, a little girl’s ball went straight out into the road and she went after it. The driver of the car didn’t see her.

My legs kicked into gear and suddenly the little girl was in my arms, the car sped past without even as much as a hesitation. “What were you thinking little one, you could have been hurt” I wiped her tears and hugged her once more before her mother ran over thanking me as much as she could. Henry’s face was beaming but the face behind him was one of shock, Thomas and his friends had been walking to Granny’s and saw the whole thing. I smiled shyly to myself and ran back over to Henry where I had dropped my bag, and carried on the journey to Emma.

Once we got there I collapsed in the spare desk that had been declared mine and instantly started on organising paper work. Henry burst in with excitement.

“Mom, mom, Beth just saved a little girl’s life, she nearly flew she ran into the road so fast”

Emma paused and acknowledged me. A smile slowly crept across her face and she patted me on the back, “good work newbie, we will make an officer of you yet”

The next day brought new challenges which meant Thomas sending looks my way that tugged my heart strings, and even another unlucky bump at granny’s, luckily Henry was there to pull me away before I started blushing.

“He’s so kind now Henry I don’t understand”

“Beth I don’t want to be rude but those teeth marks on your neck made you his right?” I lifted my hand to touch them, I felt every single mark of his teeth. “Well if he doesn’t remember does that mean you aren’t his anymore”

“No henry” I sighed “the scar he left branded me to be his forever, even if I didn’t want to be, I will always belong to pan, do you understand Henry?” He nodded and we continued walking. A sudden thought popped into my head. “Henry, do you know where ‘Thomas’ and his brother live” 

“Of course, it’s one of the oldest houses in town.”


	18. Chapter 18

Henry and I walked up to the house and the boy rung the bell. Patiently we waited but no answer came.

“I guess no one is home, let’s go Beth” started Henry, turning to leave. I kept my gaze through the window on the door waiting for a familiar face to appear and smile at me. “Beth”

“Yeh I’m coming” I sighed and turned only to be faced with a very tired felix, holding grocery bags “felix?” I gasped.

“Nope, Joel” sighed the boy trudging up the steps, fiddling to find the key to the door. “Friends of Tom’s huh?”

“Uh Yeh kinda, we were actually looking for you”

“We were?” I nudged Henry in the ribs, grateful that ‘Joel’ had his back to us. “Oh uh, yeh we were”

“Why?” Questioned the boy turning to face us. Henry took his chance to nudge me and I thought of something as quickly as I could 

“We know you’re new here and as Henry is the the son of the mayor and the sheriff, plus I work for the sheriff we thought we would take the time to see how you’re doing” I grinned. Henry didn’t look convinced. Joel luckily did.

“Oh cool, well everything is okay” he nonchalantly shrugged.

“Just okay?” He nodded in reply. “Ooooookay then, sorry if we bothered you” I grabbed hold of Henry and we turned to leave.

“Hey wait a sec, don’t I know you?” I turned slowly to look back at the scarred face of someone I thought I loved and shrugged.

“You May have seen me around town?” He paused and I watched as his eyes moved up and down my body.

“No that’s not it, meh” he shrugged and stepped into the house “maybe I’ll remember one day”

“Well if you do, let me know” I winked “bye then” I grabbed Henry and we walked off. Something about my behaviour caused Henry to think the whole way to the store. As we walked around Henry suddenly had a flicker of realisation on his face I ran to cover his mouth but it was too late.

“You’re in love with Felix too!” He gasped. There was only us and sneezy in the store, I had checked, but information could easily get around.

“No, no Henry, I’m disappointed because I thought that if felix had his memories then maybe he could help me with Pan.” I hissed

“Oh, So you didn’t love felix” I shook my head but unable to lie to the innocent face in front of me I told the truth.

“Yes I loved felix but not like “hey marry me and we will grow old together” more like “hey I trust you and we are close” that’s what happens when someone is your first kiss.”

“You kissed Felix!” His eyes widened. So I told him the story whilst we paid for the groceries and walked home. “Wow, So you didn’t love anyone”

“No I loved them, I just wasn’t in love with anyone on that island.”

“Like everyone here, I love them but I don’t wanna kiss them and stuff”

“Exactly” I grinned.

Henry and I walked through the door and was greeted by the charmings and Regina separating from a clearly private discussion.

“Bethany, Henry, you’re back!” Tittered Mary Margaret rushing to grab the bags from us.

“What’s going on?” Judged Henry. “Remember we deserve to know things too.”

“Of course you do Henry” sighed Regina. “There has been a problem with communications”

“Communications?” I asked “for what?”

“Basically Henry’s father went away to help Emma with something this morning but we lost contact”

“Mom is missing?” Worried Henry. “We have to go help her!”

“Henry we will, but first you need to calm down, we need a plan.”

“Tell me the situation and then try my walls again, I may be able to help.” Regina nodded at my offer and once we had calmed Henry she began.

Emma and neal had gone into the regular world with gold to collect some items, but as things started to get difficult they lost communication through a magic mirror. I pondered to myself for a few seconds then realised.

“Surely the land without magic made the mirror just run out of juice?” Everyone looked at me like my comment was stupid then Regina had a brainwave.

“Maybe because Emma’s magic is different to mine.”

“There’s different magic?”

“Yeh how do you summon yours?”

“I dunno I just wave my hand.”

“Do you work on belief or anger?”

“Wait how did you know I have magic? How did I know I have magic? Wait” I waved my hand over the bouquet of Mary Margaret’s roses and believed they could dance on the table, sure enough they began and Regina scowled whilst everyone laughed.

“Exactly, light magic” she handed me a small mirror and made me focus. Sure enough after about a minute Emma appeared on the glass.

“Hey kid, where’s Regina?”

“She’s here”

“What happened? I couldn’t get through”

“Regina thinks it was a collision of dark and light magic using the mirror that made it give up, I dunno”

“Anyway kid, tell everyone we are okay and on our way back”

“Did you get it?” Gasped Regina rising to sit next to me and peered over my shoulder.

“Yes your majesty, we got it.” Chuckled a man off screen. “Hey is that her? Wendy’s girl?”

“Wait you knew my mother?” The mirror turned and a face appeared on screen, they eyes were just like mother’s drawings even though the face was older. “Baelfire?” I gasped.

“Yeh that’s me, although I go by neal now, when we get back I’ll tell you all about it okay?”

“Okay”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baelfire is back!! Gotta love neal :)

That night as promised the man named neal came back into town with Emma, Henry rushed to greet them as I meekly stood back. Neal walked over and rested his hand on my shoulder.

“I never knew she got out or I would have looked for her”

“What do you mean?”

“Your mom, neverland, didn’t she ever tell you?”

“My mother went to neverland?!” I gasped. “Wait my mum was THE Wendy? How did I not see that?”

“Walk with me Bethany” coaxed neal And as we walked he told me the story of how he as a child found Wendy and her brothers, he watched as she was flown to neverland and back by a shadow. He sacrificed himself for uncles I didn’t know I had, for a girl who had taken him in as family. And now here I was, taken in by his family, full circle.

“Mother told me stories about a boy called baelfire but she never told me this.”

“What adventures did I have?” He chuckled

“Much better ones than Pan, you were kind and true, you never let anyone hurt the ones you loved and you always sacrificed yourself to protect those weaker than you. You didn’t see weakness as a reason to die, you saw it as a reason to improve.” I looked at this man with tears in his eyes.

“Wow, I sound amazing” he chuckled

“And here we are, god knows how many years later, standing together, a family, if you wanna be that is, I mean, wait what?”

“Pan was right about one thing” I puzzled him with my eyes. “Wendy grew up to be an amazing mom”

“Shame she wasn’t my real mum.”

“In your heart you know she was” I smiled at the man, so full of kindness and wisdom. We hugged and I clung on tightly to the only other person in this world that knew my mum, feeling a connection I had never felt before. A small pirate commandeered our hug and we wrapped our arms around henry, tears in our eyes.

The next day neal and I had mothers photo copied and made bigger, we searched for pictures on the internet and found ones of her and her library group. She did so much more charity work after I disappeared that she was photographed almost monthly. We chose our favourites and printed them off, decorating neal’s home with her.

“There a home fit for Wendy’s family, if you wanna stay that is, I mean it’s cramped in that little flat and here you can borrow Henry’s room and you can-“ I stopped him with a hug.

“Yes yes yes, thankyou!!” We laughed and cried and after clearing away our tears we met everyone at Granny’s. They were ecstatic at the happiness I felt being offered a place to stay. Henry got excited even though I was having his room and helped me plan how to decorate.

Everything was going well until neal’s face fell at the jingle of Granny’s bell. There stood felix and Pan. Neal visibly turned to anger and prepared to stand. “No neal” we all whispered and sat him back down. The boys took their seats and neal took the time to calm down.

“They’re actually nice now, although I feel felix is nicer than his storybrooke self” neal looked at me confused as Henry Piped up.

“She loves felix.”

“Henry shut up” I hissed. “If pan gets his memories back and hears you then everything goes to pot. I loved all those boys okay!!” Henry slunk back into his seat and I buried my head in my hands. “I love you dearly Henry but if pan for any reason suspects me of defying him then everyone I care about will die” I looked up and faced him. “Including everyone here in storybrooke.”

“She’s right Henry, pan is ruthless” neal added.

“He has his good sides sure but he- what? Why are you looking at me like that?” Neal’s face had dropped. Quickly he stood me up and dragged me to the back of Granny’s.

“You fell in love with him didn’t you?!”

“No neal no I never could”

“Then why are you trying to save him”

“I’m trying to save felix too” he wasn’t impressed by my sass. “Neverland is dying there are innocent boys on that island, my father, hook, Nibs, Ed-“

“Hook is still on the island?”

“Yeh he’s protecting the lost boys for me.”

“You’re friends with hook?!” His Look was murderous. “Hook betrayed me”

“Well he saved my life and the life of my father, I owe it to him to at least try to save his life” neal paused at looked at me, his anger faded and he smiled warmly.

“Trying to save everyone even though they don’t deserve it, you really are your mother’s daughter” he grinned and hugged me, I hugged back, clinging tightly. “Come on, Miss darling, I think bedtime is in order” slowly everyone got the same idea and we all went home.

Neal tucked me in just like my mother did. “How did you know?”

“Your mom used to tuck me in every night” I smiled, for the first time in a long time I felt safe and happy and warm, snuggled in a bed that smelled faintly of my best friend Henry I settled down to the worst. Nightmare. Ever.

Pan was standing over my cowaring body. He held my heart high in the sky and laughed as thunder cracked. Around me lay the bodies of everyone, pan had killed them all. I screamed at the demon, lightning striking behind him and he twisted my heart and gave me back one half.

“I’ll be back for that princess” with a start I shot out of bed and to the window. Sure enough rain was hammering down and the lightning shot across the sky.

“Hey, need a ride to school” I jumped at the voice and nodded, whatever happened I refused to let anyone see me cry in fear.

The bad weather continued through school, it reminded me of the time pan got mad at the Indians for sneaking into our territory. Odd, I didn’t have that memory yesterday. I shot my hand up and asked to go to the bathroom, I raced down the halls and looked at my eyes in the mirror. Regina had only hours before taught me to see the dam, hours ago it was perfectly fine, now it was cracked. “What changed?” I asked myself.

“You remembered on your own”

Came the voice that had been stalking me ever since I got the feather.

“Fat lot of good that’s done, I only remember one thing” I said to the mirror.

I started to leave the room when the voice piped up again.

“True love can break any spell”

“Yes but Pan doesn’t love me, he doesn’t remember me, he doesn’t even remember himself!” Silence was my only reply so I made my way back to class only to find a book on my table.

“What’s this?” I asked myself.

“It’s our reading assignment.” Came a voice from in front of me. Green eyes stared at me and i felt my heart strings tug.

“This has to be a joke right?”

“Nope, the whole class has the same book” I sighed and looked down. The face on the cover mocked me, the name of the book mocked me. For there on the table was the book i had grown up with, a book i knew to be wrong.

“The adventures of Peter Pan and Wendy.”

“Oh come on!” I shouted a little to loudly “Peter didn’t even like her!”

“Bethany” came a stern voice from the front of the class. “You wish to share?” I didnt really but my mouth was working too fast for my brain.

“Pan would hate this, do any of you actually know the real story of Peter Pan?” I looked around the class but they all looked confused.

“Okay let me start again, how many of you have read the stories about yourselves” almost the whole class raised their hands. Even our teacher. “Okay, now keep your hand up if your story was wrong.” No one lowered their hands.

“You see miss” I looked once again at our teacher. “Peter Pan is nothing like the boy in this book”

“And you would know?” Came a voice from the back of the room.

“Of course I would know, I’m the only one in this room that actually went to neverland.” If i had said that in my old school i would have been laughed out of the grounds but here, the fairytale children all with their own stories stared at me with their mouths open. “So if you don’t mind miss. I can give you a review about the real Peter Pan, but i will not read this book.” The teacher nodded just as the bell rang and we all left, luckily the storm had died down and no one got soaked.

That night at Granny’s i started my story. I wrote and wrote until my hand was sore, then i wrote some more. Regina caught me and decided to show me how to get my pen to write for me, it was great fun and so connected my magic to my pen and sure enough by the next morning, my paper was finished. We met up again at Granny’s for breakfast.

“Don’t you think that’s cheating?” Asked mary Margaret as i proof read my paper over breakfast.

“Well i thought the words and it wrote them for me when i had cramp and i wanted to write mine and present it before having to listen to whatever drivel was in that storybook. There are some things here that even I didn’t really know but seeing as my dam is cracking it’s only right that memories float through to my pen.” Everyone in the booth gave me a smile and I smiled back, a feeling of dread at having to read to the class washed over me and stayed for the rest of the day.

Strangely i had an English lesson everyday this week and so was luckily able to hand my paper in before anyone else.

“Bethany! What is this on my desk?”

“Its my paper miss, i finished it last night. Its the true story of pan.”

“Well come up and read it then.” So i did.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well that was a long one, NEXT!!

“A long time ago before roads and mobile phones lived a man and his son, the man was sad for he had visited a place in his dreams that he didnt know how to reach. One day he found a way to the island but his son travelled along with him. The man was angry, he wanted the magic island all to himself. The man used magic to remove his shadow and in return for everlasting youth on the island the man gave his heart.”

I saw some of the girls flinch but thomas was intrigued by my story so i carried on.

“Instantly the man became a boy again but a boy couldn’t have a son. So the child was flown away by the recently removed shadow, it was then that the boy chose his new name, Peter Pan.”

“Peter loved his island called neverland, children would visit in their dreams but by morning they were gone. After one hundred years on the island peter realised he was lonely. So he used his shadow to travel to different realms and enchanted boys to come and join him in his paradise. In one land he was even nicknamed the pied piper.”

Faces dropped around the room as they remembered the horror of what the pied piper did.

“Peter played his pipes and boys from all over would be entranced by his music and would fly with him to neverland. But soon they would start to miss their families and by nightfall the crying could be heard all over neverland. The lost boys soon learned that peter hated their crying but because of the magic of the island their tears couldn’t stop.”

“Those who made the mistake of asking to go home were punished, beaten, locked in a cage with no food, used as bait for the mermaids or simply killed. Pan had no time for weakness”

A hand shot up and I addressed it.

“Bait for mermaids?”

“Oh yes. Second only to Pan in their bloodlust. Mermaids aren’t sweet things, well some are but some are vicious and will try to drown you as soon as they look at you, if they don’t eat you alive first.”

The girl looked visibly shaken.

“May i?” The teacher nodded.

“Soon a girl arrived on the island and Pan sent his lost boys out to look for her. Pan hadn’t wanted her, he wanted her brothers. Pan made a deal with the Wendy bird that as long as she does what he says then she would stay on the island instead and leave her brothers alone.”

“The Wendy bird was weak and soon Pan became bored of her feeble cries and her aversion to bloodshed. Pan locked her in a cage and left her swinging high above the camp, and there she stayed, Pan’s Wendy bird, flying in the sky for almost a hundred years of her life.”

“Soon a man and his young daughter arrived on the island, Pan was furious that someone had the audacity to bring another girl to his island but as he went to kill the child he saw something in her eyes, magic. Pan selfishly released Wendy with the order that she was to go home and wait for a package. Wendy went home, married and sure enough the little girl appeared on her doorstep. She raised the girl and made sure that she was ready for whatever she was to face on neverland. Wendy couldn’t hide her, not from pan.”

“When the girl turned sixteen she was collected by Pan’s shadow. Pan expected her to be at his beck and call, as weak as her adoptive mother but Pan was wrong. The girl surprised him in many ways and instead of utilising her for her magic, the boy made her his queen.”

“Romantic right?” I added sarcastically. “Pan had no heart, he couldn’t fall in love so when he found himself wanting to love his queen he made a drastic decision. Unfortunately this was his downfall. One day pan was taken from neverland leaving his queen distraught and the lost boys in need of a leader. The queen had no choice but to follow her king. And thats where the story ends.”

“But where did Peter Pan go?” Came a voice from the back, thomas. I looked him in the eyes.

“Oh he is somewhere, I’m sure his queen will find him one day” the class was clearly confused and tried to ask me questions but the bell tolled and we all scarpered to our next lesson.

That evening Granny’s was full of us eating and chatting until suddenly a man came running in. “Snow, snow, there’s a new boat in the docks!! Pirates!!”

We all bolted towards the docks to see sure enough a boat coming into the docks, but it wasn’t sailing in, it was flying. As it landed the water splashed onto the dock but Emma used her magic to keep us all dry. The gangplank came down and off came a pirate I hadn’t expected to see. “Hook!” I yelled as I ran to him, he pulled me into a huge hug and grinned. I heard voices and saw to my surpise all the lost boys gathering on the dock. “Boys?!” I grinned. “Annie” they yelled in unison, suddenly I was bowled over by the dog pile of all the lost boys.

Next came the pirates all sporting different injuries, I gave nibs a questioning look, he shrugged “sparring practice” I laughed and ruffled his hair. I introduced killian who was quite entranced by Emma, but he stopped in the face of neal.

“Baelfire?” He gasped “you’re alive” grinned the pirate.

“Yeh no thanks to you” murmured neal.

“Hook, neal took me in” I added.

“Just like dear Wendy, what a beautiful story, did I ever tell you-“

“Hook”

“Yes love” he grinned at me.

“why is there someone missing?” He looked sheepish.

“How can you tell there someone missing, there’s so many here” Mary Margaret chuckled. I gave her naïveté a smile and turned straight back to the pirate.

“Well where is he hook?”

“Beth just hear me out-“ Hook started.

“Where is papa?!” I yelled. There was silence on the dock.

“Miss annie” piped up toodles, always the polite one. “He gave his life to protect us. He said you would have done the same” I paused, information filling my brain and tears filling my eyes.

“The island was dying” he continued. “And like how a captain must stay with his ship, your papa had to stay on the island. If we had all abandoned it, we would never have got away in time. The island runs on belief and if no one had stayed there to believe in it then-“

”my papa is dead, my mother is dead.” I felt myself shake the tears falling fast. “Peter was right, one day I would be a real lost girl, oh my god he was right” 

My face paled and I felt my eyes darken. I raised my head to the sky and screamed. The sky responded to my outburst and turned dark, thunder rumbling, even though I had stopped screaming it echoed through the sky. I was sure in that moment if Pan had been there playing his pipes I would have finally heard them. Lost, all I felt was lost. The boys huddled around me and for a while we all just sat. Neal broke through the boys and held me close, wiping my tears as they fell.

Henry took his chance to speak and spoke only to hook. “You’re different than in the movies”

“What are movies?” I heard laughter before I felt it. It was mine, I was laughing at cartoon hook, I was laughing because Henry had been there for me despite seeing my dark side. I smiled at Henry with tears in my eyes.

“He’s right you know” started neal “your hair should be curlier and longer” I laughed again.

“Moustache twisty” added Emma.

“Yeh and I’m pretty sure you wore red” giggled Henry. Hook was still confused by all of our laughing.

“But what are movies?” he asked shaking his head.

“Thanks for that image Henry, how do you always manage to make things better?” I smiled. He shrugged and Emma put her arm around him.

“He makes everything better don’t you kid”

“Wanna know what makes things even EVEN better?” Asked Henry, eyes sparkling.

“What’s that?” I asked curiously

“Granny’s hot chocolate and donuts”

“Kid you had me at granny’s” laughed Emma

“I’ll have to admit I wasn’t pulled in until I heard donuts” I laughed

“I love donuts” added neal.

“What are donuts?” Piped up hook and we all laughed our way to Granny’s.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sad times hey? So there’s a reference in here, if you know it leave a comment so I know where my musical theatre ogres are 😁

The walk to Granny’s was the easy part the hard part was fitting us all in, eventually we ended up outside, blankets, pillows and full bellies, looking up at the stars.

“They’re different here” said nibs, his curiosity strong.

“Did you find Pan, Annie?” Asked Fritz.

“Kind of” They all gave me curious looks so I explained. A few moments later my story had finished.

“So he’s thomas now?”

“Yes”

“So he won’t recognise us?”

“No”

“Even if we tell him”

“I don’t think he would believe you”

“But-“

“Come on lads, back to the ship” commanded hook.

“You can’t let them sleep cramped up in that ship” started Regina.

“Where else can they go?”

“Well I happen to have a few bedrooms spare, plus I’m the mayor, I’m sure I can pull a few strings and get a house for them all.”

“What’s a mayor?” Asked nibs and we all collapsed laughing.

I went with the boys so they would have a face they know when they woke up, they all decided to pile up together in one of the bigger rooms, Regina and I magicked up some hammocks and blanket forts and soon they were all asleep. Henry was among them, not as a lost boy but as a friend. Watching them all sleep I decided on a walk.

I found myself back at the dock, tears in my eyes sat on a bench under a lamp.

“But late for you to be out eh lass?”

“How did it happen?” I sobbed. Hook sat next to me and pulled me close. “Pan would kill me for being this weak”

“No lass you aren’t weak. Your tears are from you being strong for too long, you just gotta build up that strength again is all.”

“Do you think he felt pain?”

“I don’t know lass but if I could have saved him you know I would have. Neverland was going down but we couldn’t all abandon it, your father stayed behind, I swore to him I would find you and protect you. We captured the shadow and flew, thanks to the mermaids we knew where you were.”

“Thanks for finding me”

“Aye lass.”

“What will you do now?”

“I guess I could stay a pirate”

“Pirates like you haven’t existed for years, you’d be sunk in minutes” Hook hummed.

“I could be a poet and write my own story”

“That sounds nice but you would need a big audience, poetry isn’t popular these days.”

“Then I guess I’ll be a hero, sword and armour clashing, I guess I’d have to stop being the villain”

“Yeh me too” I remembered a song and changed the lyrics.

“A villain always hides,  
A villain’s place is known,  
A villain always stays in the dark or all alone”

“Well let’s change that together eh lass? You and me on the seas”

“I wish I could killian but I need to be here” I sighed “if Pan wakes up and sees I left instead of helped him there would be hell to pay, besides, I can’t leave felix.”

“Love makes us do crazy things ey lass?”

“Aye captain, that it does” before he could say anything else I went back to Regina’s using magic to open the door quietly.

“And what time do you call this?” She smiled at her false anger and hugged me. “Sorry I’ve been waiting ages to do that” I smiled and hugged back.

“I was just thinking”

“It’s okay for you to mourn, I didn’t mourn my father but I kept him close, even named Henry after him.”

“Benjamin, his name was Benjamin.” I sobbed in the arms of the fiercest villain in the land and she let me, she held me as tightly as my mother used to and slowly I felt her magic calm me. “Thank you Regina”

“No problem” she smiled wiping a tear from my face. “Now” She righted herself and dragged me to a room. “Help me sew names into these clothes”

So all night I gave Regina a list of names and slowly using our magic the clothes were washed, ironed and sewn with names in, some had to be adjusted but Regina taught me how to handle that.

“Here’s one thing I used to do for the boys, do you have any leaves or paper?” She frowned confused but got me some of both, slowly I waved my hand and the paper and leaves started to shift slowly into shoes. “A new pair of shoes every few days, it was easier than cleaning the cuts on their feet”

“That’s amazing” smiled Regina watching each shoe form. “They may last longer here depending on the weather.”

“True, I’m counting on it”


	22. Chapter 22

The next morning the boys were all arranged in their clothes and were posing for photos, Henry showed them how to do a few moves and then we had a nice one with everyone smiling. The walk to school was hilarious, everyone paired up and followed me and Henry, I felt like a mother hen leading her chicks. As we got to the gates the boys scrabbled in and we were met by Mary Margaret.

“Hello everyone, we have arranged a class for you that caters to everything you need to learn and I will be your teacher.”

“Pan?” Gasped one boy and sure enough all the lost boys were running and cheering. Without thinking I clapped my hands and magicked them still. I ran in front of them and stood in front of Thomas.

“Sorry, you look like someone they know.” I turned back to the boys and unfroze them. One look on my face made them stand perfectly still, like soldiers, my imitation of Pan’s face. “What did we discuss?”

“Sorry Annie”

“In a line follow miss Mary Margaret and behave please” They did as they were told and my chicks followed their new mother hen into the building, only Henry and I stayed near Thomas. “Sorry about that,really I am”

“They called me Pan” his brow furrowed and he looks almost sad.

“You look like him is all, they’re just excited for their first day.”

“Yeh sure” he genuinely smiled at me and I felt my cheeks redden.

“Okay so, um, see you round” I ran into school, Henry hot on my heels. When the coast was clear I turned to Henry. “Did you see the way he looked at me, oh my gosh Henry I cant do this”

“Yes you can Beth, you can do anything”

“Except save neverland and my father”

“Okay but those weren’t your fault” I looked at him wearily. “No they weren’t, stop doubting yourself, you just gotta believe in yourself like I believe in you” a sudden spark exploded in my chest and another crack appeared in my dam.

“Believe in neverland” came a voice.

“I don’t need to believe in neverland, I believe in you” came another.

“Believe in me Annie”

“Believe in us”

So many different voices were filling in my head all at once, suddenly they all dissipated at Henry’s voice. “Bethany?” My eyes shot open and I realised almost at once that I was causing a scene, holding my head and breathing heavily.

“Sorry Henry, I had a sudden pain, but it’s all gone now” I smiled and removed my hands just as the bell rang, “I’ll see you later.”

Lessons were surprisingly easy that day, and afterwards I was approached by one of the girls “hey so I’ve seen the way you sit and sometimes you sit like a boy but when you think no one is looking you’re really graceful. You ever done ballet?”

“Uh Yeh actually as well as many other things”

“Come with me” she gasped and sure enough she led me to a dance room. “They use to try to teach dance as one of the gym classes but they stopped, me and the girls come here as often as we can to practice, you can join us if you like.”

“I’ll admit it would be amazing to get back on the floor instead of dancing in the forest” I smiled when suddenly a commotion turned our attention to the window. Sure enough there was a group of boys huddling around a fight. I ran as fast as I could through the nearest door and made sure I stood in view. “Lost boys, attention!” I yelled and suddenly they shot to attention in a straight line, the fight forgotten. A small boy sat on the ground in front of them he was clutching his arm. “What happened?”

“I wanted to be one of the lost boys”

“So you beat him up?!” I yelled to the line of boys. They all moved and spoke to defend their actions but one look from me rendered them silent. I waved my hands slowly across the boy’s injuries and looked him in the eyes. “Do you have a mom and dad?”

“Yes miss”

“And do you love them?”

“Yes miss”

“Then why on earth would you want to be a lost boy?”

“I thought it was just a game” I tousled the boy’s hair and sent him on his way with a nod. I turned back to the boys and knowing I had the attention of everyone in the courtyard I spoke.

“Lost boys, we are not here to recruit we are here to find pan and felix, we are not here to bully or to fight, we are not here to scratch our way to the top. We are here to learn and if we don’t succeed in finding Pan and restoring neverland what happens?”

“We die?” Piped up Nibs.

“No nibs” I sighed

“We grow up” the lost boys started in uproar, there was no controlling them, some were pointing at Thomas, some were crying. None of them wanted to grow up. I froze them with a wave of my hand. “Until such a time as we can rebuild neverland and go home we will remain here, we will learn and fight just as we did back home and sure okay we don’t have pan and we are getting older with each minute that passes but we are strong, we can do this.” I put my fist out. “For pan”

I unfroze the boys and one by one they put their hands into the middle and murmured “for pan” sure enough when every boy had his hand in the middle I yelled “now back to class” on cue the bell rang and the boys scarpered.

Before I could make my way back a hand grabbed my shoulder and pushed me against the wall, Thomas. “You’re Pan’s Queen!” He gasped at me.

“Yeh don’t tell the whole world Tommy boy or I’ll never hear the end of it” I sassed back.

“Then that makes you a villain”

“Does it? I hadn’t noticed, when do I get my horns?” I checked looking up at my head. I turned to leave but he came nearer, anger swirling in his eyes. “Are you going to kiss me or kill me?” I whispered, my eyes screaming ‘try it’ he shuffled back.

“I wouldn’t kiss another guys girl, thats just weird” oh if only he knew.

“Anyway are we done here?”

“You’re still a villain!”

“Am i boy? Am I?” I grabbed him by the collar and brought his face down, I could see the dam in his eyes, it was cracked. “Having nightmares are you? A name or an action leaving pain in your head like a flood. I can see it in your eyes Tommy, you’re falling apart and I can’t wait to see the end result” with that i sauntered off, heels clicking on the ground. Leaving the boy behind me gasping for air and answers.


	23. Chapter 23

Henry and I walked the boys back to Regina’s and once they got settled I broke the news to the family I had asked to meet us. The lost boys were upstairs, brave enough to test other rooms.

“Pan’s dam is breaking” I stated clearly. Everyone’s faces paled, even the pirate’s.

“And I was just getting to like this bloody town” cursed hook.

“Will someone please tell me what ‘Pan’s dam’ is?” Added neal.

“Our memories are being held back, his by a curse, mine by his magic, I can’t get close enough to felix to check his but I’m guessing his might be on the way too”

“Well we just have to break the curse” smiled Mary Margaret.

“No” yelled me Hook and neal together.

“Pan needs to have more compassion for this town before he remembers, besides, the dam can’t be broken all at once.” I blurted out

“Ours were, we had 28 years of memories come back to us, and more when our curse broke.” David calmly added.

“We have already established that we can’t break the dam” growled Regina.

“Have you tried true love’s kiss?” Naively added mary Margaret 

“What?” I dumbly stated.

“True love’s kiss, surely you love someone right?” I backed up hands raised.

“Oh no no no no no I don’t love anyone” I laughed.

“Tinkerbell” Asked Regina. “She helped me find my true love, after Daniel and understandably it was my fault that she lost her wings but was still called a fairy and was vanished to neverland but hey she may help you” Regina rushed out.

“Tinkerbell......fairy.........neverland?” Suddenly another memory came to me, felix and I in the cabin of the fairy where we could be neither seen nor heard. I gasped and grabbed my head. “Yeh we need to see her”

Sure enough tink was in town, the fairies had resumed their honest lives but weren’t nuns anymore, because apparently that happened.

I apporached her and she grew skeptical when Regina joined me but she smiled at everyone else with a heart warming grin. “Hi everyone, how can I help you?”

“I need to find my true love”

“You’ll need fairy dust for that but I don’t have any.” Regina and I sighed.

“Well can we get some?” She sassed.

“Well sure but it will have to be approved by blue”

“Does she have some?” I asked hopefully

“Well sure but it’s in low supply” we rushed to blue and explained our situation. She listened patiently, her face fell when pan was mentioned, but she kept listening.

“Unfortunately we are unable to gather anymore dust so I’m afraid I can’t give it to you”

“What if I promised you a way to a place with more”

“I’m listening” very soon we had made a deal with blue and hook that whatever land she needed to go to to get fairy dust hook would take her. And so she handed it over and Tinkerbell worked her magic.

Hook and the boys had trapped pan shadow, since it wasn’t connected to pan’s magic it was weaker but was able to transport the vessel. Hook and his crew gathered up to leave and we waved to them from the docks, blue rushed on board and they set off. Tink turned to us and looked me in the eyes, “are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be” she held some of the dust in her hand and blew it onto me.

Once the pixie dust hit me I knew where I needed to go I ran as fast as my feet could carry me and felt the dust work it’s magic, it sent me to Granny’s but to my dismay instead of Felix, there sat Thomas and a girl about to share a kiss, the dust wound around their heads and made the situation even more romantic.

My heart broke, I had hoped for it to go to felix and we would live happily but no, pan was the only one that could break the curse and there he was kissing another girl. I sank to the floor tears streaming down my face. Regina joined me, analysed the situation then crouched beside me. “You know you could just leave them be, come stay with us, be my magic helper” she grinned softly and I smiled back.

“It won’t be the same, Henry was right, I love both of them and the only way I can get them both back is by kissing one of them but he’s currently over there kissing someone else, if she knew who he truly was she wouldn’t be smiling at him like that she would be afraid.”

“Then let’s show this town that you don’t need love to be happy” we smirked together and I allowed her to walk me home.


	24. Chapter 24

A few weeks passed and I became more accustomed to living in storybrooke. Neal taught me how to play video games and we would often have game nights with Henry and the boys. Belle and I taught the boys to read, David and hook trained them with swords and Mary Margaret taught them how to more accurately fire their bows as well as school work. Regina helped every night with 15 loads of homework and loved it. Every day I had a few more memories come to me but I couldn’t piece any together.

One day the boys and I were playing a regular game which instead of ten green bottles on the wall it was 15 of pan’s lost boys. I would minus them by two or three and the fallen would have to fight to get his way back on the wall. It was their favourite game and they learned to count at the same time. Halfway through the game David and Mary Margaret came to watch.

“Does it have to be so violent?” Gasped Mary Margaret as one of the boys was pushed off the wall.

“It’s the only way to keep their attention while learning”

“Ooooooh that’s how you do it”

“Well you’re their teacher, how have you been handling them?”

“With difficulty” she sighed

“That doesn’t sound like you snow” gasped David. “You almost sound like you’re giving up”

“I don’t know how to keep their attention anymore”

“Make it a game and try to get them outside as often as you can?” I asked.

“I did that, they only ever seem to want you or Pan”

“They need to be scared of you.”

“Why?” Mary Margaret and David Asked together.

“If they know you are strong too they may be scared into submission, you have taught them proper bow handling but do they actually know what you can do?” She looked sheepish and David excitedly exclaimed.

“I have an idea”

We ended up in the forest with daylight starting to fade, the lost boys in a circle around me with their torches.

“Capure the escapees!” I yelled and all the boys cheered. They started scrambling over each other to ask to be the warden. “We have a special guest to be the warden today, they don’t have magic and they won’t have any light, in good faith David and I will be escapees too” the boys looked confused. “Torches out! If you make it till dawn, you win, on my mark!”

The boys braced themselves, usually Peter would swoop down and collect one as soon as someone says go.

“Get set” torches began going out as the boys prepared, some adjusting their swords ready to fight their warden.

“Go!” And off we ran, deep into the trees and bushes, I put a spell on David and myself and we floated up the nearest tree to get a good view, that was the only magic I used all night.

Sure enough one by one you heard the boys yell as they got captured, it added fear to my heart even though I knew who the warden was, I could only imagine the fear for the boys not having a clue, I almost felt sorry for them.

Silence fell and after I counted 15 screams I whispered to David “she’s coming for us now”

David smiled and murmured “She’s already here”

He gestured to a shuffling in the trees opposite and sure enough I saw the hooded cloak whip back into the darkness. I held my breath as David and I were pushed into a net below, catching us high above the ground. I screamed as I went down and I heard the boys murmuring on the ground below. Slowly we were lowered and hit the ground, the net falling around us.

“I win” chuckled a voice coming out of the shadows. I lit the torches around us as the figure removed her hood. The boys collectively gasped and David chuckled.

“That’s my girl” the lost boys were a mix of emotions.

“I wasn’t ready”

“But you’re our teacher”

“You’re supposed to be nice”

“I thought it was very clever”

“Shut up toodles”

“Boys!” Yelled Mary Margaret above the din, they were in full arguing mode, she looked at me and I gestured to her bow. She fired into the centre of boys and hit the tree behind them, right into an apple I had placed there earlier. “Maybe it’s about time you listen to me before that apple becomes your heads.” The boys stopped arguing and stood to attention in silence. I made my move.

“We devised this game because I was informed of your appalling behaviour towards miss Mary Margaret, I’m hoping now you have seen just how badass she is you can give her the respect she deserves and can apologise.” I raised my eyebrow and they all started apologising as much as they could.

“That’s enough boys, do you forgive them?”  
I turned to Mary Margaret.

“Well I wouldn’t be very nice if I said no now would I?”

“Maybe you’ll have to take your bow to class” I laughed. All the boys shifted on their feet, the ground suddenly looking very interesting to them. “now, back to Regina’s, I hear dinner is going to be really good” they all whooped and cheered and ran straight back to town. David and I congratulated Mary Margaret and returned to our own homes.

As I got in, neal held an envelope in his hands. “Hey you, what’s that?” He threw it onto the table and sighed.

“It’s the state, asking about why you aren’t in care, Regina got one about the boys too”

“Well I’m sure she can magic up some forms and......neal?”

“They’re coming to collect you all in the next few days” my face dropped, I had not once thought about the state coming to get us, they couldn’t have known we were unless someone had reported us. As if reading my thoughts neal kept speaking. “It was my dad, he threatened that I had to get you and the boys out of town but I refused, I have a record and so does Emma we can’t adopt you and Regina is adopting the boys, there’s no one here that can protect you.”

“Why does he want me out of town?”

“He thinks you’re the only one who can wake Pan but he doesn’t want pan awake, he wants him dead” my head spun with questions and thoughts that all moulded into one thing, anger. The sky above reflected my anger and a thunderstorm started within seconds. Neal was right, no one could take me in, no one had a place big enough for me and those that did couldn’t adopt me because of a criminal record. I had no mother and my father was dead.

I was officially a lost girl.

Suddenly the door blew open and in came the blue fairy “Hello, Oh Bethany dear if you could just” she gestured with her hand and I knew.

“Oh the weather, sorry” I calmed and soon the storm subsided. “Can I help you blue?”

“More like I can help you, this goes against every bone in my body but you helped me and the fairies get more dust and we wanted to do this for you.” She held up a folder. “Pictures of us holding babies over the years, birth certificates with your name, the boy’s names and new surnames, documents pertaining information about you leaving us to explore a new life and one picture of you and the boys on the first day of school showing that you can be an adult with help of this community.” 

“Blue how did you know?!” Gasped neal.

“I prepared for this the moment you and the boys came here, I had a feeling someone would come snooping. Get these to Regina, quick before she does something drastic” I nodded and zapped myself there to find a very sullen dinner time.

“Regina! Look look” she read the contents of the envelope and was over come with tears. “All you have to do is use these names and make adoption papers through the fairy nuns and then we can all stay.”

“We can stay?” Piped up Nibs 

“Of course we can” The whoops and cheers were deafening and sure enough a few days later officials from the state came to investigate and left empty handed after it was confirmed that we were all official and being safely cared for. 

Everyone took their celebration elsewhere but I took mine to a little pawn shop over the road. The bell jingled as I entered and I was met with a rather dark welcome.

“Hello dearie” I used the glare I had learned from pan and gathered all my sass.

“I prefer your majesty” I walked by little knick knacks and wiped my finger across the shelf, dust accumulated on my fingertip and I wiped it off with my other fingers. “Little dusty in here rumple, you’re slacking” he lifted his cane in response.

“I’m not as fast as I once was” I hmmed in response and turned my attention to a beautiful baby mobile with glass unicorns spinning. “What did I do to deserve this little visit?”

“Oh I think we both know what you tried to do so let’s cut the crap and get down to basics.”

He gestured for me to continue.

“Pan and felix are remembering on their own, I’m not the one waking them so getting rid of me won’t solve getting rid of pan, secondly if you think I would leave pan defenceless then you’re wrong.”

“Ah yes the little children you have made into soldiers.”

“They’re quite resourceful but they aren’t soldiers.”

“And what can children do to me”

“Oh dark one, you may be powerful but you still have your weaknesses” I moved up to where I knew his safe was, one of the boys had scoped it out a week ago. I didn’t know his code however but I was bang on target because he moved in front of me to block it. I smirked and walked on, already having got my prize a few days before. “Peter Pan never fails dark one” and with that i materialised something Peter gave me for safe keeping a long time ago.

“If you ever see my son, give him this as a warning, make it always be with him” I remembered peter saying.

Sure enough I threw the doll at the dark one and watching him catch it, dismay covering his face when he realised what it was. I smirked at his tears.

“Amazing that even after so many years, there are things that will always make us cry. See ya round dark one” and with that I left, hoping Peter was right.


	25. Chapter 25

That night I spent on patrol with Emma in her bug, there had been rumours of things going missing the past few days. While we sat with our donuts Emma decided now would be the time for questions.

“So I noticed you’re close with Henry”

“Mmmhmm” I nodded, mouth full “he wike a bwuvva oo ee” I spoke around my donut and knew that Emma understood because she dropped the subject.

“What will happen when Pan gets his memory back” I took a pause to finish chewing thoughtfully, the car silent. I swallowed, washed it down with cocoa, then spoke.

“You know I never really thought about it, I only expected to be here a few days but then the boys came and now I don’t know, Nibs has a girlfriend, he ain’t going to want to leave, toodles loves Granny’s cooking so much I doubt he could go back to eating berries and stuff.” I took a breath and continued. “I think if I can find a way to get neverland back then the only ones that are going to want to go are the ones that can’t remember it.”

“Not you?”

“I don’t know, I mean it’s good to have the choice but as soon as Pan’s magic is back then I’ll have no choice but to follow him.”

“You always have a choice B” I shook my head

“Not with him, he claimed me remember” I pointed to my neck, she turned to look and moved nearer to examine.

“I’ve never actually checked this out before, may i?” 

“Sure” she took her time under the light of the car as her finger traced every ridge of Pan’s teeth. “Last night I realised why I’m stuck with pan.”

“Why?” She asked, breath on my neck

“He put some of his magic into my body when he bit me” she gasped and moved back, I put my hair back down, adjusted my feather and continued. “Just enough to keep me coming back to him, just enough to control me, just enough for me to always want to be with him even if I don’t love him but Emma”

“Yeh”

“I think I did love him.”

“Yeh kid, I can tell”

“Your truth thing?” She nodded, and we both sighed. “Growing up I thought falling in love was going to be fun but here I am, my true love a controlling monster, unaware of my existence, in love with another.”

“You said that tinkerbell’s magic didn’t work”

“Yeh I lied to neal and neal told you so it seemed like the truth, sorry”

“It’s okay, I’ve lied in the past too”

“You? No way!” I muttered sarcastically, she judged me in response and suddenly shot forward.

“Oh my god kid look” I saw it, it was floating, ethereal, searching like a mother searched for her child after it goes missing. 

“Pan’s shadow” I whispered and rushed out of the car.

“Hook must have set it free” Emma followed close behind me.

“Shadow?” I approached carefully. It turned to me, white eyes tinged red. “Are you looking for Peter?” It nodded, coming towards me slowly. “I can take you to him but you won’t like what’s happened”

“Dead?” It growled sadly, hanging its head. Emma grabbed my hand, I don’t think she expected it to talk.

“No, just cursed” I held my hand out to him and transported all of us to the balcony window, through which Thomas was sleeping. I had watched Pan sleeping so often, but this was different, Thomas seemed peaceful in his sleep whereas pan tossed and turned. “I’m sorry shadow, he won’t know you, just like he doesn’t know me”

“But I am his”

“Yeh me too”

“I stay near?”

“Of course you can, just make sure he doesn’t see you like this, maybe like a regular shadow?”

“On ground?”

“And walls and around poles, is that okay?” he hmmed and nodded and started phasing through the window. When he got to Thomas he slowly started to mould to the boys shape and soon he was gone, back where he wanted to be. I returned Emma back to her bug and turned to go.

“Hey kid” I turned to her “that was really kind, what you did, many others would have freaked out”

“He’s pan’s shadow, I’ve been kind to him since the day he took me to neverland” I waved goodbye and we parted.

I arrived back at Neal’s and opened the door to see the room covered in darkness. I flicked the switch but nothing came on, I created a ball of light in my hand and illuminated the room, it was a mess. I heard a groan and saw neal on the floor in the corner, blood covering his side.

“Neal!” I rushed to his side, ball of light following, and healed all that I could. His face twisted in various grimaces. I transported him straight to Regina’s hallway and sat him on the step “stay here”

“No annie you can’t go back there”

“What happened?” He just shook his head. The lights came on and Regina popped her head over the banister.

“Beth?”

“I healed him, just make sure he stays still for a few hours” and with that I vanished back to the house and found myself face to face with gold. “You would do that to your own son?”

“Where is it?!” He growled grabbing the scruff of my neck. “I know you have it, you took it, where is it?”

“What are you talking about gold?!”

“My dagger!!”

“The coveted dark one dagger? You lost it?”

“You took it”

“You lost it”

“Listen here queen of Pan” he spat “my dagger is the most important thing to-“

“More important than your son, wow you really are like your dear papa” I glared, eyebrow raised. With a flick of his wrist he threw me to the other side of the room, I felt glass and splinters stabbing me but I got back up and healed myself with a wave of my hand.

“How’s the doll doing rumple?” With another flick I was back in front of him, his hands on my throat. I stared him down, my eyebrow once again raised and my smirk apparent.

“I don’t know how you got it but I’m going to make you pay” then my world went black.


	26. Chapter 26

Pan pov (finally)

I awoke with a strange feeling, like I had been missing something and suddenly it was back. I shrugged off the feeling and went down to breakfast with Joel.

Over the past few weeks I had been getting flashes in my mind, me and my brother in the woods, me flying, fighting with a one handed pirate and...... her. Bethany, the new girl in town that could control a group of boys with a single glare. She didn’t deny being Pan’s Queen when I confronted her, it was almost like she wanted me to.

The pictures of her in my mind were ones not for the faint of heart. She and I on a water slide, laying together naked and sweating in bed, she and I shooting a boar and skinning it, both of us covered in blood.

I had tried to convince myself that they were dreams but the way she looked at me made me think they were memories and she had the same. 

I had tried to distract myself from her with one of the stupid girls that fawned over me in school. But I was obsessed with the dark haired temptress that haunted my head.

“Thinking hard today brother” Joel joked. “Thinking of your lady love?”

“Which one?” I winked at him. I had asked him of the memories and of the girl Bethany but he just shooed me away and declared I was just a horny teenager with dirty thoughts.

“Cheeky” came his reply.

That day at school Bethany was missing, the group of boys that usually followed her everywhere stuck to Henry like glue. At lunchtime things got messy, they tried recruiting another boy like they did a few weeks ago but Bethany wasn’t here to stop them. Suddenly for no reason I was angry, furious, my blood boiling, I found myself walking over to them.

“Oi you lot!!” They saw me walking towards them and instantly stopped and backed away. “Bethany gave you a direct order not to recruit and here you are, she’s not here one day and you’re disobeying her. What would she do if she were here huh?!” They stayed silent, the floor suddenly looking very interesting. “Why don’t you just go back to your classroom?!”

They started walking and I’m sure I heard one of them whisper “sorry peter”

Those boys were convinced I was their precious Peter Pan, they were wrong. I turned to find Henry wide eyed and staring at me.

“What?!” I growled.

“I was just going to say thank you”

“Why?” I was confused and raised my eyebrow. Henry smiled.

“Oh that’s where she gets it from” he muttered to himself. “Bethany would have said thank you” at the mention of her my anger subsided.

“Where is she anyway?”

“Oh um no one knows”

“What? Like she took the day off?”

“No, like someone kidnapped her last night, attacked neal and all that was left at the house was her locket”

I felt my face pale, my head suddenly burned. Memories came to me of that locket around her neck, always around her neck, never leaving. “But she has magic”

“Not strong enough but don’t tell the lost boys, they would torch the town if it meant finding her” I knew how they felt, I was suddenly at a loss. I wanted to make the whole world suffer.

“Henry, I want to help find her, what can I do?”

“Right now?” I nodded “mom said to stay in school and see if she turns up, she loves coming to school”

“Why?” I scoffed

“Because it’s normal”

I shrugged off his comment at the sound of the bell. I couldn’t focus for the rest of the school day and as soon as it finished I was out the doors and straight to the station where a very exhausted Emma sat waiting.

“Oh hi, Thomas right?”

“Have you found her? I want to help, I can’t do much but I want to help”

“Woah woah easy there kid, we were searching all night, we have shifts, Mary Margaret and David are searching in the forest, if you can find them, you can help them” I turned to leave “Wait kid, why do you care, I thought you had a girlfriend?”

“How did you know that?”

“I’m the sheriff, I notice everything.”

“It’ll seem really weird.”

“Let me guess, you have memories flooding through in the form of headaches whenever something relevant occurs?”

“Yeh how did you-“

“Just go and find her Romeo” she laughed and I turned on my heels grinning.

Sure enough I found Mary Margaret and David quite quickly, they were close to the well.

“Uh hi” I waved on approach “Emma said I could come and search with you guys.”

“And you found us that quickly?” Asked David

“I thought about starting here as a pinpoint to keep coming back to”

“Us too” sighed Mary Margaret “but we have been everywhere, the only one who can find her is a blood relative but she doesn’t have any, we would have found her quickly otherwise, plus there’s a spell on her locket, the only way anyone could find her now is if-“ she stopped herself.

“If what?” I tested

“If someone loved her, Tinkerbell’s spell might help, Beth said it didn’t work but I had a hunch, come on guys”

“Where are we going?” asked David as she dragged us along.

“The fairies”


	27. Chapter 27

Pan pov

The fairies were frantic, they seemed to like Bethany but were all very cautious around me but I had no idea why. Suddenly a fairy in green entered, took one look at me and screamed. Mary Margaret and David managed to calm her down in a huddle of whispers and eventually she came up to me.

“You don’t know who I am do you?” I shook my head.

“Sorry no, should I?”

“I’m Tinkerbell” I smiled

“Oh like from the story, peter pan’s Tinkerbell, you’re bigger than I thought you would be.” She stepped back, eyes wide and whispered something to Mary Margaret who just smiled.

Suddenly the fairy blew dust at me and I felt like running, as I ran the rest of the crew joined up with me. David, Mary Margaret, Emma, Neal, Tinkerbell, Regina and some of the older lost boys and I arrived at a small cabin on the outskirts of town.

I followed the dust but couldn’t get in through the door. It was magically locked, Regina and Emma stepped forward and blew the door wide open. The place looked abandoned so we checked everywhere, suddenly we heard a noise like the scraping of chains through a wall.

I knocked and sure enough a panel came loose to reveal a dark room dripping and cold. Everyone stepped through in front of me and poised themselves. Emma shot a ball of light in the air and sure enough in a cage lay a very beaten Bethany. Everyone ran to her but she only looked at me.

“Run Peter” She croaked before passing out, sure enough a hand grabbed my shoulder and threw me against the opposing wall, the family stood in front of me and Beth and protected us, I swore in that moment that if I ever had the chance to repay the favour then I would. They faced off a very angry mr gold who kept pointing at me and cursing me. I reached the cage and reached for Bethany’s hand, she was cold but still had a pulse in her wrist.

“Get out of here gold” growled Regina, I looked just in time to see her hurtle a fireball at him as he vanished. We all tried to open the cage but none of us could get to her.

“Hey kid, trust me on this but you have something that can help her” said Emma confidently nudging me.

“Me?” I scoffed and raised my eyebrow. The whole family copied Henry’s earlier reaction and muttered to each other “that’s where she gets it from” the lost boys just nodded, that was my last straw. “Will someone please tell me what the bloody hell is going on here?!”

“Your real name isn’t thomas” said Mary Margaret 

“I figured that out thanks to everyone calling me Peter so am I supposed to be Peter Pan?” I scoffed and waited for everyone to start laughing. “Wait, you’re serious. But Bethany said Peter Pan was violent and cruel I’m not like that” I turned to face the girl in the cage “I could never hurt her”

“Hey peter” muttered one of the lost boys, I shifted my head slightly to look at him “I never thought you were bad, and neither did she, she did love you enough to be your queen after all”

“And She is your true love otherwise tink’s spell would t have worked” added david.

“But I don’t know what to do, pan would know what to do and I just....don’t” I hit one of the bars on the cage in my frustration.

“Hey kid, why don’t you just ask your shadow to get her”

“Yeh Peter,” Piped up the lost boy “your shadow can fly her to us through the bars.”

I closed my eyes at the madness, I was a monster, a villain, I would never get my happy ending, all I wanted was to be a normal kid and fall in love with the girl of my dreams, literally.

“Fine” I said finally accepting that I was peter but still not remembering “uh...shadow?” A black form melded out of the darkness my body cast onto the floor and began to float.

“Yes?” It seemed to growl

“Could you possibly help get Bethany out of the cage?” It nodded and simply flew in and back out, cradling the girl in its arms. I stood and took her gently, her small frame tucked into my arms perfectly. “Thank you shadow”

“She is nice, take care of her” and with that he flew back into the darkness. I turned to the family with my precious bundle in my arms and tears in my eyes.

“Help me save her” I whispered. Helpless to save the one I was sure I loved, the family surrounded us and magicked us back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well youve read this far, may as well read the rest but go and read the newer version too!! i implore you!!


	28. Chapter 28

Back to Bethany.

Memories filled my head, rumplestiltskin had managed to break the dam in my head with force rather than magic and had left me to drown. It took a while for them to slot into their correct places and once they did my eyes shot open.

I was home, at neals house, in my bed with a very tired group of boys around me. Some of the lost boys and Henry had fallen asleep all around the room, blankets and pillows filled every once of floor space and a hammock had been attached in the corner, most impressive was the blanket fort but the thing that really tugged my heart strings was the sleeping boy with his head on my hand. He was peaceful but not completely, his brow slightly furrowed. He’s starting to remember I thought, and without hesitation my left hand reached over to start stroking his hair.

His eyes fluttered open and I shot my finger to my lips hinting at the sleeping boys behind him. He just smiled and me and inches up the bed to stroke my hair. “Hi” he whispered

“Hi yourself” I smiled and saw in his eyes only a small amount of his dam was left, Peter was coming back to me, and I couldn’t wait.

“So apparently I’m Peter Pan” he smirked.

“Yeh”

“So you and I?” I blushed violently and so did he.

“That helps the memories make sense, I mean how else could I know about the star birthmark on the innermost part of your thigh unless my head had been there” he winked and I smacked his arm, the sound waking the boys.

The scrambled to their feet and Henry yelled out the door “she’s awake” sure enough a rumble like a herd of elephants came up the stairs and everyone burst in, Peter backed off to make some room and everyone all checked to make sure I was okay.

“I’m a little thirsty” suddenly a glass appeared in my hand, it one one of Regina’s glasses for special occasions “thanks Regina” I mumbled and she smiled back. I looked around the room and something in my head told me that someone was missing, and now thanks to the rather painful beating i had just received, I remembered. “Tiger Lily!” I gasped.

The boys shifted their gazes and peter looked confused. “Who?”

“Tiger Lily, the native the chief’s daughter” I noticed the boys back up slowly. “Boys” i chided raising my eyebrow.

“Oh I see what you mean” said Peter pointing at his brow and looking at the charmings.

“Wait what?”

“Nothing” they all burst out.

“So what happened to tiger Lily?” Asked Henry, looking at the boys.

“We lost her” flinched toodles

“Lost how?” I asked. Suddenly all of them started talking over each other.

“It was an accident”

“She escaped”

“She was on the island”

“We tried to find her honest peter”

“She vanished”

“Like a ghost”

“Woah woah boys!” They faded out and I turned to Nibs, he always had a confident voice. I raised my brow again and he told me.

“She disappeared about a day after you left, she managed to escape but we went after her pretty quickly and found her in the native camp but they had gone, their camp abandoned. We found her crying and a few minutes later she just” he gestured something floating away with his hands. Toodles Piped up.

“Like that movie we all watched with the superheroes and they lost and everyone dusted away.” All the boys nodded in agreement.

“Because she was part of the island” whispered regina

“So were we, does that mean we are going to float away?” Asked Fritz.

“No no I forbid it” I smiled at them. “But if something was going to happen to you guys it would have already happened” we all hesitated in thought and my stomach filled the silence.

“I swear I just heard it say Granny’s” laughed Henry.

“Good idea kid, come on you lot, I’ll pay” laughed Emma helping me out of bed, she magicked me up a new outfit that was amazing for movement and I thanked her before joining the others. Peter stopped me before we left and encouraged everyone to go ahead.

“Before you say or do anything peter, please don’t kiss me in any way or anywhere, you aren’t ready yet”

“What do you mean?”

“You aren’t ready to know who you are”

“I know who I am, I’m Peter Pan.” I smiled kindly and held his face with my hand.

“Of course you are, my Peter Pan, but I don’t think your ready to know everything just yet, people need to get to know you like this before knowing your true self, they might try to kill you on sight and I don’t want you to die”

“I can’t die princess” I blanched, it was such a peter thing to say, without skipping a beat he continued. “You’re here to protect me, you won’t let me die” he put his forehead to mine, whispering softly. “I think I love you Annie.”

“Really?”

“You seem surprised” he pulled back to look into my eyes. “Have I never said it before?”

“You never had a heart before” his face dropped as I reached into his chest and sure enough there it was, the other half of my heart, just where I had left it a few weeks ago.

After many years in neverland with pan I finally allowed myself to love him, but I wanted him to love me back, so on the night I fell in love with him I took my heart and broke it into two. Whilst he slept, I shoved one half into his empty chest. The next morning he took me to the cliff where I asked him to never let me leave neverland. Suddenly we were ambushed by Felix, in a desperate attempt to get me back he had found Pan’s heart and held it confidently in his hands.

“I have Pan’s heart, you come any closer and I destroy it”

“Neverland will fall without me felix is that what you want?!”

“Neverland is falling anyway, the star is broken. A piece of it fell here years ago, now it just has to be sent back.”

“Felix What are you-“ I started but a figure came out of the bushes, I didn’t know him then but I knew him now. Rumplestiltskin.

“He’s right deary, all you have to do is send that star back and neverland will be saved”

“How do I-“

“Die of course” pan in that moment stood in front of me, because of my heart in his chest he had learned to love and in a split second had chosen me over neverland.

“Don’t you touch her laddie, or I’ll put you in time out.”

“Of course you and your penchant for punishment, how is that going for you papa? Punishing the girl into being yours, punishing her when she runs off to be with another?” He hinted at felix, I was in trouble.

“That was years ago, I chose Peter” I reached for his hand but he pulled it away.

“You betrayed me?!” He growled

“No peter, once I realised I loved you I chose you, I left him years ago”

“But you still-“

“Yeh I did, can you blame me? You treated me horribly until I gave you everything I had”

“Doesn’t twoo wuvv just stink?” Giggled rumple, pan was showing weakness, he couldn’t help it, it was my fault. But with my heart safely in his chest, Felix couldn’t kill him. “Now take this dagger and end yourself girlie”

“Who be you to call me girlie?” I took the dagger and threw it at his chest only for it to dissolve.

“I take that as a no.” Felix stabbed Pan’s heart, peters cry broke my heart but as his heart crumbled to dust he stood firm. I smirked, I had saved his life and now I was going to save it again. I chuckled low.

“Don’t you idiots ever learn? Pan. Never. Fails.” Peter took his cue and shot forward to felix, the dark one vanished but felix had no magic and no means of escape.

“How?” Gasped the boy under pan’s grip.

“Little tip for the future felix, get your self a queen, she’s the strongest player on the board.” He dropped the boy to the ground unconscious and waved his hand over the boy’s head.

“What did you do?”

“I took his memories” pan stalked towards me. “And now, little traitor, I’m going to take yours, let’s call it resetting the board”

I gasped at the memory, still holding my half of my heart. Peter was astounded. “Peter do you know what this is?”

“Half of my heart?”

“No, it’s half of my heart” I pulled my half out of my chest and showed him. “Strange how one selfish action can save a life” I pushed both hearts back and stared into the boy’s eyes.

“Bethany, please note that if there was ever a time to kiss you for saving my life, it would be now.”

“Thank you peter, and I’m sorry for all the times I was selfish or weak”

“I’m sure I’ll forgive you when I remember what they were” he laughed and took my hand, together we walked to granny’s


	29. Chapter 29

The day was full of laughing and fun, we played darts and danced all as a family until granny made us all sit down for lasagne. We occupied almost the whole diner and I stayed by peter and Henry the whole time. The two bonded over video games and action movies and laughed together about the book of Peter Pan. Everything was perfect until Joel came in.

“There you are thomas, I’ve been looking all day!” Something about his face made me scowl, like he had a secret.

“Hey bro, come and meet everyone” he introduced everyone. Some of the lost boys were too hyped up on sugar and called Peter over to play some more darts.

“Peter” his head turned and I saw a slight flash of emotion on felix’s face. Joy. “Come play darts with us again, we wanna see if you can get three bullseyes in one”

“Coming boys”

“Peter huh?” Mused felix. Peter noticed the mistake and turned to felix with fear in his eyes. “Seems like you remember a few things then?”

“Yeh and what do you remember?” Sassed Peter, clearly not remembering the cliff.

“Everything” he hissed. I grabbed the back of his shirt and pushed him into the door frame, my knife by his spine. “The little queen remembers too I see, wonderful”

“How long?” He chuckled deeply, not responding. I turned him around, knife to his neck. “How long felix?” He leaned forward into the dagger, a memory of pan doing the same thing a long time ago floated across my mind.

“Since day one deary” I threw the boy to the ground and kicked him.

“Didn’t you learn your lesson last time felix, you working with the dark one won’t help you, pan never fails.”

“Yeh when he’s pan!” He stood up to fight me but the family behind me had jumped to my defense, weapons raised. “That!” He pointed to peter. “Isn’t pan! He’s weak, defenceless, too full of heart. Mark my words Bethany” he stepped closer. “The dark one wants both you and pan dead, the dark one will give me control of neverland and then I will be the king.”

“You will never be like Pan” I spat.

“No, I’ll be better” he smirked and left. Thunder rumbled in the sky and I realised that was me. I turned to peter, the look on his face was one of shock and sadness, not only had his brother just betrayed him but he just had his life threatened. I moved to comfort him but he backed away, turned and ran out the back door of granny’s.

“Emma and Regina, please stay with him, everyone else I have a plan.”


	30. Chapter 30

Peter pov

I was a mess, so much betrayal and heartache clouded my thoughts and feelings. Love, hatred, anger, mistrust. So many memories colliding but not making sense. My head hurt with the sheer weight of information that I was receiving.

“Hey kid, mind if we sit?”

“May as well, no one else cares enough to follow me.”

“If you’re talking about Bethany-“ Regina started “let me just say that she right now is defending your honour and fighting to keep you safe, you can’t deny that she loves you”

“She was too scared to tell me about her and felix, she went to him to feel loved, what does that say about me?”

“She stuck by you, that says everything” Emma started.

“She’s right lad” I looked up to see the pirate I had fought so many times in my head. His hook shining in the rapidly falling sunlight. “Bloody hell”

“What?” I asked

“Given the amount of years I’ve known you I have never seen you like this”

“Like what?” Regina asked

“Heartbroken” the pirate continued. “Poor Annie came to me to get stitched up every time she had done something wrong by you and then one day she stopped coming, I feared her dead by your hand until you made her queen.”

“I would have killed her?”

“Probably mate, usually your a bloody animal” I lowered my head. “But So is Bethany.” I looked back up to the pirate. “I watched the two of you on that island pan, she lowered her walls. She became everything you ever wanted and in doing so found a part of you that no one had ever seen before. She loved you, I would make a bet that she still does considering how hard she worked to find you and restore your mind”

“But she won’t release the rest of my memories until-“

“Until she knows that you can accept who you are” the pirate crouched in front of me and put his good hand on my shoulder. “She won’t bring back pan until the very last second, because bringing you back would mean giving up everything you are right now. If you love her then you need to show her”

“But I don’t know how”

“She changed for you kid” stated Emma.

“Now you have to do the same for her” finished Regina. I thought for a second of Annie and how she made me feel, I thought of all the kisses in the past, the flirty winks, the sneaking of glances, the feel of her hair and she slept on my chest. I needed her, and now she needed me, the real me. She needed Peter Pan.


	31. Chapter 31

Back to bethany

I hugged some of the younger lost boys and Henry before leaving them in the diner, it was like walking into a storm, in the middle stood gold and felix. Once again I faced them but I wasn’t alone.

“Finally she faces us, where is your precious king?” Scoffed felix.

“This is between you and me”

“Well my dear soon it will be just that” I was confused. “I’m going to reset the board”

“So soon, but felix, we haven’t finished our game. Wouldn’t you like to fix your mistake?”

“What mistake? Everything went perfectly” the dark one waved his hand and I flew to the side.

“If that’s how you wanna play it lost boy” soon myself and the hero’s were fighting tooth and nail to get some advance on the two. A shockwave blasted us all to the floor “enough magic, just you and me felix, hand to hand” I stood up as he walked forward.

“If I win, I get Pan.” He smirked.

“And if I win?”

“You won’t” he swung at me with the sword in his hand and so we fought. We were evenly matched without magic “I told you I didn’t need to train, the only one who can defeat me is Pan and he isn’t here”

“I’m right here felix” sure enough Peter walked forward but I was stopped by a wall of magic. I banged my fists my I couldn’t break through

“Peter dont!” He turned his head to me and felix threw him across the floor as easily as throwing a ball.

An anger burned in my chest, my head tore apart and a scream burst from my lips shattering the wall in front of me. Everyone flew backwards and I was on top of Felix in seconds, beating him until I was thrown backwards by gold’s magic.

“Pop quiz” I yelled

“Now?!” Cried Regina

“In chess when do you try to take the king?”

“After you’ve defeated the queen” shouted David.

“There’s your mistake felix” I watched the boy’s smirk drop as I summoned a fireball to my hand “because I’M. STILL. PLAYING!!” I threw the ball at his feet and stormed towards the former lost boy.

I lifted both felix and gold in a chokehold and laughed when I heard Regina say “I could NOT be prouder right now” I dropped them and froze them with a wave of my hand and turned to the family I had adopted as my own. Peter stood with them, he had seen the whole thing.

“I’m really really sorry about this” I stated to the crowd and with a click of my fingers pan’s wall disappeared, after thinking for a while it was a kiss that would bring him back to me I realised, his wall was fragile enough for one more blast of magic. I walked towards him as his eyes closed and he breathed almost a sigh of relief before opening his eyes and gazing at me with his usual smirking glare. He closed the gap between us and with a single finger he lifted my chin to look at him.

“That’s my girl” He growled.

“They’re all yours” he licked his upper lip and raised his eyebrow.

“Just how I like things” he sauntered over to them and changed into his usual neverland outfit with a wave of his hand. I saw neal and hook blanch at the sight of him but the lost boys looked excited. Pan was back.

“Hullo lads” he kept their bodies frozen but unfroze their heads so they could answer and watch their demise. “Feels a bit like we’ve been over this before, only this time I’m sick of seeing you, so we’re going to play a little game” he turned back to me and the look on his face was one of sheer bloodlust. “Did you get what I asked for sweetness?”

“Of course I did, but you know I like games too”

“Where did you put it?”

“Why peter, it’s been with you this whole time” he was confused. I put my fingers to my lips and gave a shrill whistle, pan’s shadow emerged and came straight to me. He gave me a tiny box with a necklace inside. “Thank you gorgeous” I winked at the shadow and sent him away. I had the idea of giving to to the shadow as soon as he went back to peter, just after I left neal with Regina I left the box with shadow before going back to the house.

“But that’s just a necklace” pan sounded insulted.

“Well yes but a necklace is easier to hide than a dagger” I pointed that last word at gold and his face grew to anger

“I should have killed you when I had the chance” he spat “you and pan should both be dead”

“Oh do shut up laddie, I still haven’t punished you for that yet” gold silenced in fear at his papa’s threats. “Good boy, now, let’s see what this can do” as he reached for the necklace he noticed the pendant on the end of the chain. “Pan pipes” he whispered. He raised his eyebrow at me and winked. As his hand connected there was a bright light and the dagger appeared. Gold seemed distressed. “Oh don’t worry son, I’m not going to kill you, yet”

“Son?!” Gasped neal. I rushed over to him and watched as he flinched back. “You knew and you didn’t tell me”

“Would you have believed me?”

“I wouldn’t have believed the words but I would have believed you, that’s what families do, we don’t keep secrets”

“Speak for yourself” muttered Regina.

“Neal, you already didn’t trust me because of who I am, you only wanted to keep me safe for Wendy.” Pan turned.

“Of course, Baelfire, good to see you”

“Can’t say the same pan”

“Age becomes you”

“You should try it”

“I did once, never again”

“When you’re finished?” Felix interrupted. “I’d quite like to fullfill my side of the deal”

“Quite right traitorous one but first you agreed to hand to hand combat with Annie here” he pushed me forward and unfroze him. “I’d quite like to see the outcome of that.”

Felix obliged and ran straight for me we dodged and parried, we were almost equal in our movements.

Whilst we fought I remembered the day pan had dropped, he had said that the pirate was a distraction and that someone had his heart, when only hours before it had been destroyed on the cliff by felix. But then had trusted felix to take him somewhere.

“Peter?” I asked between strikes. “You said that someone had your heart as a distraction when only hours before you had watched it be destroyed. You were in pain, why?”

“Well dear Annie, I knew that I had wiped yours and felix’s memories. The only way I could have got felix out of the way permanently was to send him on an errand to this world but it went wrong” felix laughed and we locked swords.

“Pan had tricked me into checking his heart, when the dark one showed up, blocked his memory, released mine and then sent us both into a portal, a land without magic where pan would be weak.”

“But this place has magic and you lived together” I pushed him backwards and we clashed swords again. “You could have killed him in his sleep!”

“That was too easy, I needed him to remember first.”

I pushed him back again and we fought. I was getting tired, I needed a way to wear him down. I almost feared that I couldn’t defeat him, Hook coughed and flicked his leg, looking at him I knew what I had to do. Felix needed to fall and so I dodged and back flipped and dropped into the splits, pulled his leg and before he could stop himself he fell back onto the floor, hitting his head. I stood over him, sword at his throat.

“Checkmate” I growled, I tore the feather out of my hair and burned it in my hand then I lowered my sword and carved an x into his chest.

“You’re letting him live?!” Growled gold “just kill him, you know you want to”

“Quiet lad” yelled pan

“Shut up papa, kill him girl, take his life, feel his blood on your hands. Finish him”

“No!” I shouted and threw the sword to the ground.

“What do you still care about him?!” Yelled gold

“Of course not”

“Then kill him”

“No”

“Why?!

“Because it’s the right thing to do!!” Silence blanketed the street and the weather went calm, the pale moonlight shined down and the second star flickered. “I’m doing the right thing, Peter send your shadow somewhere safe with the dagger we are NOT doing that today, Emma, put felix in the cells, Regina take gold to where he trapped me, make sure he can’t escape, take his memories or something precious from him. Someone bring me henry and three hot cocoas. Boys, I know you want to, so just do what you’re itching to do and will somebody please tell mary Margaret to stop crying with pride, she’s making me teary too.”


	32. Chapter 32

10 minutes later my demands had been met and I was sat with Henry, hot cocoa in each hand watching the lost boys tackling peter with hugs. All the adults sat nearby with their coffee and all was calm.

“I told you you could do it” smirked Henry into his cocoa.

“Oh shut up” I laughed nudging him. We spent a few seconds nudging one another and laughing which got Peter’s attention, he glared at Henry before catching my eye and looking away.

Suddenly a laugh from hook and Emma caught my attention.

“Since when were they a thing?”

“He helped her with a few evening shifts and bought her donuts, they just kind of work I guess”

“What about your dad?”

“He’s cool, he doesn’t mind as long as she is happy, he backed off” I looked at neal chatting with the charmings. Henry was right, he didn’t seem jealous. “So do you think you can get neverland back?” Henry’s sudden question wasn’t surprising but still slightly caught me off guard.

“I know I can” i paused “But i have to give up a big part of myself to do so”

“How big?”

“Not sure, life changing”

“Do you think you can do it?” I shrugged.

Regina called everyone for bedtime and the boys came to neal’s to collect their pillows and blankets, they said goodbye to me and peter then left silently. I grabbed my pillows and blankets and some clothes and magically stuffed everything into a backpack. “Come on Peter”

“And where do you think you’re going?” Sassed neal, standing in front of the door.

“Away”

“Beth you can’t just drop everything and leave because your boyfriend is back”

“I’m right here” Sassed peter.

“Don’t even get me started on you” he turned back to me. “You can’t give up everything for him”

“I’m not giving up everything, I’m walking away from you”

“Why?”

“You didn’t see your face neal, you’re afraid of me, you backed away from me. You said family don’t keep secrets and yes I’m sorry but it wasn’t my secret to tell. But family also look out for one another and don’t back away from their darkness. I’m leaving to protect you”

“No you aren’t Bethany, you’re staying right here and peter is going back to his own home alone”

“You can’t tell me what to do neal you aren’t my father” peter stepped forward.

“Technically I’m the oldest and I’m also your grandfather so you can’t tell me what to do”

“Shut up peter” yelled neal and I together. Peter raised his hands in defence and stepped back.

“I am going neal, you can’t stop me”

“Try me”

“You wanna go there again neal?!” Neal stepped towards me and crossed his arms over his chest. “Don’t play games with me, I’m going into the forest, alone.”

“I’m not letting you leave this house”

“Yes, you are” and with that I vanished to the well in the woods, leaving peter and neal alone.

I used my magic to create a treehouse just for me and snuggled myself into a ball amongst my blanket as pillows. For the first time in ages I cried. I cried for my mother and father, I cried for the betrayal of Felix, the loss of neverland and tiger lily, I cried for the way my friends flinched when they saw the real me. My half heart broke in that small room and when I finally succumbed to sleep I felt the warmth of neverland on my face and a hand in mine. I knew without looking it was Peter.

“Hey” I squeezed his hand and he squeezed back.

“Wanna talk about it?” I shook my head. After a few minutes he spoke again.

“I’m sorry” I finally looked at him, he wasn’t in neverland clothes he was in a T-shirt and shorts.

“What for?” He sighed at my question.

“Everything” 

“And you’re telling me in a dream because?” He looked at me and suddenly I shot awake. There he was in the treehouse with me, his neverland clothes on, tears streaming down his face. I patted the warm blankets next to me and he crawled in. We held each other close for what seemed like hours. “I forgive you Peter, of course I forgive you” he looked up at me his face now dry from tears.

“Why?”

“Because I love you peter” he shook his head.

“No you don’t” he stroked my neck where the marks of his teeth still resided. “I’m brave enough to do this now.”

“Do what?” I Gasped. Suddenly a pulling sensation filled my neck and without looking I knew the mark had gone. “Put it back!” I demanded.

“No, you’re free, I’m releasing you, I’ll find another way to neverland, the magic I put inside you binding you to me is gone. The true love spell will work properly now, go and find your true love and forget me.”

“No peter please” I grasped at his face but he calmly removed my hands.

“You’re free princess.” And with that he vanished. My heart once again broke and I screamed into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive trigger warning for the next episode.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you made it to the end, well done and thanks for sticking around. honestly though, go read the updated version!!

Massive trigger warning.

I awoke at dawn, my throat dry, my tears all cried out and my arm red. I kept having to prove to myself that I wasn’t dreaming, the cuts were tiny but enough to hurt. There wasn’t a lot of blood but I knew I had to clean up the mess before anyone came looking.

Not bothering with anything as drab as school or apologising to neal I led back and stayed under my blankets until a small knock woke me from a dreamless sleep.

“Go away”

“Bethany its just me” came the soft voice of Mary Margaret. “I brought cocoa.”

I magicked the door open and she walked in, instantly stopping at the smell of blood.

“What happened?”

“He left me”I said blankly “I had to keep reminding myself that I wasn’t dreaming. My monsters won. They scared neal into hating me and pushed peter away so that he wouldn’t want me anymore” I felt her lean over me.

“He took the magic away, the mark” I turned my head into the pillow half hoping I’d suffocate. “Come on, we are going hunting” I peeked our from my pillow to frown in confusion. “Oh come on I was a princess alone in the woods not a nun.” She laughed and turned to leave. “You have two minutes or I’ll get Emma to drag you out.”

“Emma’s here too?”

“And Regina, come on”

“How did you-“

“Neal told us what happened and we found you last night, you seemed peaceful so we left you sleep, I’m guessing all of this happened after we left” I nodded “outside, now” she used her teacher voice and I felt a pull to action. Within seconds I was dressed and on the floor in front of them.

“Oh kid” Emma hugged me and Regina leaned over to stroke my hair.

“We are not afraid of you, trust me” Regina smirked “I’m sure I’ve done worse” everyone laughed and I smiled at their banter.

“Right” clapped Mary Margaret “choose your bows.” I looked at the row of choices. One in particular caught my eye, it was the one I used on neverland, completed with all the names of the lost boys on the handle, right in my eyeline above my hand read “Peter&Annie” I put the bow back down and chose a different one. Mary Margaret raised her eyebrows but didn’t question my choice.

We spent the day shooting and magic training until food called our names. I hadn’t eaten much in the few days beforehand and expected to be hungry. I was full after one bite of an apple but forced it down. Sure enough the sun started to fall and the girls started to head back.

“The treehouse is this way”

“Oh no you don’t” cried Emma dragging me towards town.

“I can’t go back there, look at me I’m a mess, can’t let pan see me like this.”

“Hmm she has a point” mused Regina and with a wave of her hand transformed me. My hair was braided into a crown and I wore a long sleeved knee length dress with comfy boots.

The girls oohed and ahhed over my look and sure enough it persuaded me to at least go into town. We reached granny’s and a huge crowd waited for me. Henry ran forward to hug me and neal joined.

“I’m sorry Bethany, I was afraid but I know I will never be afraid of you again. Come home?”

“Are you sure you want me?”

“One hundred percent” cried Henry. I looked up but the lost boys were absent.

“Where are they?” I whispered to Henry.

“With him, they’re finding a new way back to neverland.”

“But they have lives here”

“It’s no use, pan is taking them, they wanted to stay with him” my anger grew and I ran to the house in a blind rage, I barged right through the door.

“Boys?!” I yelled. Footsteps clambered and faces popped out from everywhere. “We worked hard for you guys to have normal lives why leave now?!”

“They had a better offer” came pan’s voice from behind me.

“If you boys want to leave then you can but you don’t have to!” I turned to the boy behind me. “Let them live their life as they wish it.”

“I am their everything, they owe me their lives, I made them” his eyes seemed to tinge red as he spoke

“Pan?” He glared at me the red eyes piercing my soul. With no hesitation I held him up against the wall, dagger appearing in my hand and pressing into his throat. “Where is Peter Pan?”

“You catch on quick deary” whispered the disappearing pan. “You’ll never find him” he vanished completely and the boy’s scrabbled around. “Get to the diner, get the heroes and tell them to meet me with the fairies. Make sure Regina checks on gold”

Five minutes later they joined me, Regina too, she assured me that gold was there but he still had his magic. Tink once again helped us with her true love magic and I braved myself to find peter in the worst place possible. But the running feeling never came, the dust just dropped at my feet. Blue who had been witnessing stood with shock.

“That has never happened before”

“But what does it mean?” Gasped Mary Margaret.

“I don’t have a true love?” I felt tears start to well but what blue said next shocked me into a feeling of fear and the tears subsided.

“The dust settling like that may mean that your true love is in a land without magic that’s why it can’t follow.”

“Oh my god” sighed David.

“He crossed the town line” gasped Emma.

Sure enough we saw him, he was on his knees a little over the line in the middle of the road, his head in his hands.

“Peter!” I yelled but he didn’t hear me. I went to go get him but Regina held me back.

“He may not have his memories, he can’t see us and we can’t cross” I suddenly had an idea and magicked up a rope with a note on the end of it “hold on”

I threw it over the line and hit him, he looked up and held on tentatively. We pulled him through and straight into my arms. I held his face and looked into his green eyes, they were dull and blank. “What’s your name?”

“What?” He asked dumbly.

“Your name” Regina emphasised.

“I’m thomas” my heart broke. He was cursed and couldn’t remember anything again. I smiled slowly.

“Hello Thomas, I’m bethany, welcome to storybrooke.”

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this is the ending, but I have another story on the way, coming next year but don’t worry, I wrote this story in twenty days, hopefully the sequel takes the same amount or less.
> 
> Merry Christmas to all and to all, happy reading


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